Curtain Rods
PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 2:26 pm
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,
crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at
their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put
on some soft background music, and feasted on a
pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every
room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells,
dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then
cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend,
all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house
began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and
airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and
carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they
even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen
refused to work in the house...The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided
to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price
in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to
return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money
from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things
were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She
listened politely, and said that she missed her old home
terribly,
and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in
exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell
was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of
what the house had been worth...But only if she were
to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and
within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as
they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their
new home......including the curtain rods.
crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at
their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put
on some soft background music, and feasted on a
pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every
room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells,
dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then
cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend,
all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house
began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and
airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and
carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they
even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen
refused to work in the house...The maid quit...
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided
to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price
in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to
return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money
from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things
were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She
listened politely, and said that she missed her old home
terribly,
and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in
exchange for getting the house back...
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell
was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of
what the house had been worth...But only if she were
to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and
within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as
they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their
new home......including the curtain rods.
