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Church Loyalty Question

PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 6:22 pm
by Mave
Hi, everyone,

I’m sincerely seeking some opinions and advice regarding church activities. Please post your responses with careful thought, thanks.

Question
Is it wrong to attend the bible study (BS) of Group A but not attend their fellowship? Along with the BS, I attend the Sunday worship services of the mother church of Group A on Sundays but NOT the fellowship of Group A (separate event). When someone there asks me, “Hey, I didn’t see you at the fellowshipâ€

PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 7:00 pm
by shooraijin
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I went to several Bible studies at churches where I was not a member, and they didn't mind (most of them were happy to have some outside perspective).

The attitude of the church you mention seems dreadfully insular.

PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 7:04 pm
by Ssjjvash
Well, in this case, I think a good thing to do is talk to God about it.
If doing too many activities stresses you out, then maybe it's a good idea not to take on so much stuff.

Remember that God should always have first place in your life! If something hinders that, then you should probably make an adjustment somewhere.

PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 8:11 pm
by true_noir_chloe
Shooraijin wrote: I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I went to several Bible studies at churches where I was not a member, and they didn't mind (most of them were happy to have some outside perspective).

The attitude of the church you mention seems dreadfully insular.

I am in total agreement with Shoo here. This church doesn't seem to understand the concept of who the body of Christ is.

Now, if you read in our Beloved Disciple book on Week 4, Day 2 this would be covered there.]No one else has authority over you in your life but God. [/i]Many charlatans through the years, because they are male, have told weak-willed women (a term used in scripture) to follow them because males are their authority. NO, males are not females authority figures in this life. No where in scirpture is that true. Now, I've gone into another tangent. ^_^;;;

Now, if they bug you, then they have a problem. Church is not about loyalty and attendance records and collection plates. Church is not about the building, for it is only a place you can meet to worship. Church is about the fellowship of believers who corporately worship their God, listen to a message hopefully given to you by God through the minister, and for you to commune with God. No fellow believer has the right to keep tabs on what another believer is doing.

Your responsibility to God is between only you and God. If these kids are being ugly about it, you might want to find another group of real Christians to hang out with.

PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 8:29 pm
by Mr. SmartyPants
I don't go ot my home church's youth group, because ther eisn't much God-related stuff to do, such as praise. All they do is hang out and eat pizza and play games. So I go to my friend's churches youth group. Same concept ^_^

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 1:29 pm
by EireWolf
Mave wrote:Is it wrong to attend the bible study (BS) of Group A but not attend their fellowship?


Nope.

You have no reason to feel guilty about this. It's good that you're attending a Bible study, and that in itself is a form of fellowship. Fellowship is simply being with other believers. I guess I'm not understanding the seperateness of the "fellowship" you mentioned. It's all fellowship... isn't it?

I don’t attend the fellowship because I don’t want to overcrowd my life with church activities (Man, that almost sounds blasphemous).


I can relate. I have to say "no" sometimes when a fellow church member asks me to commit to something else church-related, because I do NOT want to burn out on church. It's happened before, and it wasn't pretty.

Devotion to God does NOT mean that you have to be in church whenever the doors are open, or even whenever you have spare time. It means you go where God leads you, not where other people think you should be.

They believed that members of a church should dedicate themselves completely to one church.


The "church" is the collective body of Christ -- not a specific congregation, as t_n_c pointed out. It is good to have a certain church you go to primarily, only because you get to know other believers that way. It's not good to just church-hop and skip around and never get into deep fellowship with anyone. But to say that you shouldn't ever interact with another congregation in any way is ludicrous and unbiblical.

But hey, I could be wrong. I could be proud. I could have "submit to authorities" problems. That's why I'm asking this question.


Sounds to me like your heart is in the right place.

I have "authority" issues once in a while, but just because a person is in a position of authority doesn't mean that they're right. It's perfectly fine to respectfully disagree with an authority figure, if what they're saying doesn't line up with God's word.

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:14 pm
by Kristal*Klear
Personally, I do not believe there is anything wrong with attending other churches Bible studies or prayer meetings. I do it myself. I think that if it helps you to grow in christ, than it is a good thing!

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:27 pm
by mechana2015
I dont think theres any issue. I attended three different churches in high school, two for youth groups and one for services and a youth group, and, in fact, we had a progressive dinner with all the area youth groups hanging out together. I still attend two churches... one at college and one at school. Its a shame a church feels they should push people away because of "loyalty". We're all Christians arn't we?

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 7:01 pm
by Mave
Thanks so much everyone. Looks like I am not the only one who has been "burnt" and am open to join different church groups ^_^ I'm satisfied with the answers given and in appreciation, allow me to glomp everyone! *glomps*

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2004 7:34 pm
by Golden_Griff
I just got back from bible study at my roommate's church (which was great, it was about commitment to God). I must admit, even if my roommate's church is nondenominational (and I'm Baptist) I do enjoy my roommate's church almost more than my own.

I've asked myself many times about my loyalty not necessarily to church functions but to God. I go to church services regularly on Sunday morning but if a service is held at another time during the week I have to push myself. When I get that "Aw, I don't feel like going" feeling I question myself: "Do I really love God as much as I say I do?"

But at the same time I feel that it depends on the atmosphere of which I am entering.

People at my church have a bad habit of putting other people down for not coming to bible study especially, and I really think that the constant nagging has driven away some members including myself (from bible study, not Sunday worship). I get more out of the service/bible study when the focus is on God, not what you're wearing or how many times you've been in attendance.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:19 am
by Bokushi_Ash
I'm actually studying the authority of the church in Civics :lol: And as long as the church (not a few kids) is okay with it, then I don't see how it could prose a problem. If you're getting something out of this group that you can't get elsewhere, then they should be happy they're helping you grow spiritually.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 6:35 am
by termyt
I can see the loyalty side of it. Many churches take "flock stealing" very seriously and do not want to happen to them nor do they want to do it to another. To the point of telling others that they don't want you to come and you should stay at your own church seems a little too direct to me, though. However, if they feel that strongly about it, I would probably honor their request and not attend their services anymore.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 8:02 am
by cbwing0
There is nothing wrong with attending functions of more than one church; in fact, if there is any unity within the churches in your area, they might already do things together.

At the same time, I am not going to pretend that having a "home" church is not a good thing. This doesn't seem like a problem in your case, but it is something to consider for those who attend functions at many different churches. Focusing on one church allows you to develop stronger relationships with the people in that church, which helps with things like accountability and the freedom to discuss difficult issues.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 11:18 am
by wiggins
[quote="Mave"]
Question
Is it wrong to attend the bible study (BS) of Group A but not attend their fellowship? Along with the BS, I attend the Sunday worship services of the mother church of Group A on Sundays but NOT the fellowship of Group A (separate event). When someone there asks me, “Hey, I didn’t see you at the fellowshipâ€

PostPosted: Thu Oct 14, 2004 1:34 pm
by Gypsy
Wow. I guess that I should be very grateful for the churches in my area. The congregations and pastors all support each other, and we've even had some combined ministry outreaches. Even the denominational barriers don't cause rifts in friendship - sometimes the smaller Baptist church down the street will come to our Pentecostal service at night. I only know of one pastor around here that gets upset when his members visit other churches. Actually, he told my aunt she could no longer volunteer in the church office after she went to a Calvary Chapel one night for a change.

Since I don't claim a specific denomination, I enjoy going to various study groups and meetings. Because of my line of work, I know most of the pastors, pastor wives, and church workers in the immediate area very well. I never realized how rare this was until now. I think it's fine to stay within a group of like-minded believers, but not because you feel pressured to. What a shame.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 2:59 pm
by Fsiphskilm
[b]When we're t

PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2004 5:06 pm
by Mave
Thanks everyone once again, hehe. I just want to say that I realized something this year. I was too busy with church activities in my previous fellowship and suffered serious burnt-outs. When the fellowship dissolved early this year, I was quite worried. I thought I would lose my faith or backslide without a church. But God is good, He guided me throughout the times when I had nothing to rely on. That's when I realized that all I really needed was God, not some building, not some activity.

I'm not downplaying fellowship with other believers, either. I know how it's like to be a lone ranger Christian and that is never a good thing (I've lost count of the times I've backslided during those times). All I can say is I've experienced the extremes of both 1) no/hardly any church activity 2) too many church activities. Right now, I'm learning how to balance it out.

Boy, it's great to let that one off my chest and to receive great words of encouragement and advice from you guys. Thanks! ^__^

PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2004 6:43 am
by Hephzibah
Just thought I'd pop in here and present my view on 'loyalty to your church' thing... Please forgive me if this gets all over the place... its rather late and I need to hit the sack, but If i do before I've finished this, I know I will forget to post in here... Ok, here we go

Firstly, going to church (or Christian group) is extremely important. It says in the Bible, " For where two or three are come together in my name, there am I among them" - Matthew 18:20.
Chruch not only helps to build you up and all that, but it allows you to build OTHERS up, and most importantly to give thanks to your Saviour. There is something about group worship that is really really impacting...

Ok, now onto the issue of 'church loyalty'. Yes, I know that we are all the Church, that we are all brethren... But sometimes it is good to stay in one church... I have noticed that sometimes people just go from church to church, never settling down at one place... and it damages them spiritually. They don't form lasting friendships and all that, if you take my meaning...

But sometimes, people take the 'loyalty' thing WAY out of perspective. There was a really nasty mess at my old church, and my mum was getting really really depressed about it (and rest of the family). It got so bad that she cried alot and did hardly any housework (which for my mum is very shocking.. she hates a messy place). In the end, my dad made the decision to leave the church. The mess had to do with 'loyalty' to the church... without going into details on the argument, lets just say that the church was becoming far too self-centred, discouraging people from going to any events by other denominations. Having witnessed and experienced this and the problems it causes, I can only think that such attitudes are what keep the Church of today from being totally effective.

Anyway, did that make any sense what-so-ever?

:waah!: :waah!: BED! I WANT MY BED!!!!

PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2004 11:17 pm
by Kaligraphic
You don't "go to" church - you are the church. Jesus only endorses one church - His. His church is composed of those who believe in Him - essentially, all followers of Christ, put together, can be rolled up into "the Church".

You are woven into a congregation - a gathering group, for the purpose of building up the saints (you). If God sends you to attend a program/study/knitting circle/alien abductee support group/whatever hosted by a different congregation, there's nothing disloyal about going there - your loyalty should be first to God, no? When Paul went around "planting churches", he still kept ties to his home church (Antioch, as I recall), but that didn't mean he couldn't drop in on the local congregations wherever he went.

Personally, though, I'd say that if a church says that you can't even visit other churches, statistically, it's quite likely to be a cult. Not sayin in particular, it's just statistics. My own view is that, first, there is no point in competing with the rest of the body of Christ - it's pointless and counterproductive to fight over numbers when the people aren't yours to begin with - and second, any congregation that's run by God is going to be teaching its people to know God for themselves, which means that these people won't be swayed by imitations.

So, visit whatever congregation you like, and if you get any flak, well, be loving and kindly tell them to argue the point with God.

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:12 am
by Hephzibah
Well... that was nicely said, and made alot more sense than my sleep-lacking rambling... :D :P

PostPosted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 5:04 pm
by Kireihana
Hey Mave, I feel your pain. My dad is Catholic and my mom is protestant. I sincerely love the non-denominational church my mom and I attend, but every time my dad asks me if I want to go to the Catholic church with him I feel bad saying no. (It's not that I have anything against Catholicism, I just love my mom's and my church so much!)

Well I'm not sure if my story relates to yours so much, but it is difficult being torn between two places.