Dating...um

[DarkNozomi]

I forgot something in the post that maybe you all should know about. The guy I am dating isn't christian but a real good friend that had a crush on me after he knew i had a crush on him.

Whether he's Christian or not isn't really an issue, IMO (I know there's probably disagreement on this) but the real issue is whether he's willing to accept your boundaries and values. Plenty of Christians are ready to hop in the sack with whoever is willing; it's important to not let someone's faith give you a false sense of security that they'll be respectful. Good luck

[akorecki1]

[quote="DarkNozomi (post: 1599076)"]Whether he's Christian or not isn't really an issue, IMO (I know there's probably disagreement on this) but the real issue is whether he's willing to accept your boundaries and values. Plenty of Christians are ready to hop in the sack with whoever is willing]

Thank you! He is willing to accept my boundaries.

[armeck]

[quote="DarkNozomi (post: 1599076)"]Whether he's Christian or not isn't really an issue, IMO (I know there's probably disagreement on this) but the real issue is whether he's willing to accept your boundaries and values. Plenty of Christians are ready to hop in the sack with whoever is willing]

I agree with all of this with one exception. and that is (this my personal opinion please don't take this as an attack on what you said) at 15 it may be better to date someone who is Christian, when your older and are more sure of what you believe religion isn't as big of a factor. but. imo. when your young its definitely something to give a lot of thought/prayer about

[akorecki1]

I agree with all of this with one exception. and that is (this my personal opinion please don't take this as an attack on what you said) at 15 it may be better to date someone who is Christian, when your older and are more sure of what you believe religion isn't as big of a factor. but. imo. when your young its definitely something to give a lot of thought/prayer about

I have been praying about it, and i am saying that in a nice way. I was also planning to invite him and his family to church in about a month or two because we are sort of in between 2 churches right now.

[Furen]

I agree with all of this with one exception. and that is (this my personal opinion please don't take this as an attack on what you said) at 15 it may be better to date someone who is Christian, when your older and are more sure of what you believe religion isn't as big of a factor. but. imo. when your young its definitely something to give a lot of thought/prayer about

Further reasoning could be from Scripture, where it says don't be unequally yoked.
I mean, there's lots of people who do the "Flirt and convert" thing, but that's just weird.

[Xeno]

Further reasoning could be from Scripture, where it says don't be unequally yoked.
I mean, there's lots of people who do the "Flirt and convert" thing, but that's just weird.

Are we going to have to go over that again? That passage has NOTHING, and by nothing, I mean absolutely not a single thing to do with romantic interests.

[Furen]

Are we going to have to go over that again? That passage has NOTHING, and by nothing, I mean absolutely not a single thing to do with romantic interests.

But it does have to do with partnerships

[Xeno]

So lets just whittle it straight down to dating and marriage, because that's the logical course to take? Never mind the appropriate context or historic setting of when the verse was penned or how it related to any Jewish ceremonial laws. Nah, none of that is important, the important thing is that good little Christian girls never become romantically involved with someone who isn't also a Christian (preferably the same flavor of Christian that they are), because we would hate to have to properly interpret a verse for what it means.

[Furen]

So lets just whittle it straight down to dating and marriage, because that's the logical course to take? Never mind the appropriate context or historic setting of when the verse was penned or how it related to any Jewish ceremonial laws. Nah, none of that is important, the important thing is that good little Christian girls never become romantically involved with someone who isn't also a Christian (preferably the same flavor of Christian that they are), because we would hate to have to properly interpret a verse for what it means.

That's not what I meant, It does hold some value to it though. I guess I really should have thought of that a bit more, but many points are still valid, it limits the potential threats of them trying to convert you back, they follow the same guidelines you do.

I guess that last post sounded like I was trying to take it out of context, that wasn't my intention...

[AdriTan]

Well, I don't really think dating now would be the greatest thing for you to do, but like other people said it depends on the person. However I'm not sure dating a Non-Christian is the greatest thing ever. There may be no issues there now, but it might certainly bring up issues later. Then again I guess I really wouldn't know considering I've only dated once and he was a Christian.

[Xeno]

That's not what I meant, It does hold some value to it though. I guess I really should have thought of that a bit more, but many points are still valid, it limits the potential threats of them trying to convert you back, they follow the same guidelines you do.

I guess that last post sounded like I was trying to take it out of context, that wasn't my intention...

Here's the thing Furen, if people actually respect one another, they can have discussions about their own individual faiths, or lack of faith, and not be in an attempt to convert/de-convert the other. That might sound weird and foreign, but there are those of us who are mature enough to allow people to believe whatever they want to believe, no matter how ridiculous we might think it is, as long as they aren't hurting themselves physically or emotionally. I understand your concern, I really do, and for a 15 year old I MIGHT grant a concession due to how manipulative people are at that age, but overall...no.

[AndrewinIce]

Using a cell phone while in a movie is not cool. They're bright and annoying to everyone around, and you should turn that thing off or put it on vibrate or something so that the only time you pull it out of your pocket is when the world is about to end. Checking in every few hours is much more reasonable, but every hour is quite insane and anal-retentive.




Nate didn't even address this part of your post, yet you felt the need to bring it back up and then act as if you were being insulted, BRAVO~! Heres the thing genius, if both people are "keeping control" of themselves constantly, nothing ever progresses...ever. That is why each person has to be willing to "police" the other person, but also be willing to make advances when they feel comfortable. If the guy makes a move that she isn't comfortable with the solution is not to just up and walk away and end everything right there because "OH MY GOSH, LIKE, HOW DARE HE TRY TO KISS ME ON THE EIGHTH DATE....LIKE BECKY...UGH...WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!", the appropriate response would be to tell him she isn't comfortable with that yet. If he hadn't made the move he would never know she wasn't comfortable, or if she was okay with it he would not have been able to kiss her. Do you see how this works? If everyone is acting like a prude then no one ever gets anywhere.

First, I apologize if me encouraging someone to check in with their mother which I think will help them and her boyfriend remain pure and safe will distract you from a MOVIE. I'm sorry I was so selfish.

As for the second part of your post, I was not talking to or about Nate. I was agreeing with DarkNozomi.

[Xeno]

First, I apologize if me encouraging someone to check in with their mother which I think will help them and her boyfriend remain pure and safe will distract you from a MOVIE. I'm sorry I was so selfish.

Yes. Those movies, so impure and evil. Gotta check in every hour, on the hour, or Cthulhu will get ya!

Seriously dude. We're not saying they shouldn't check in. We're saying an hourly check in is excessive and unnecessary. And doing so in a movie theater IS IN FACT RUDE.

As for the second part of your post, I was not talking to or about Nate. I was agreeing with DarkNozomi.

You need to do a better job of quoting.

[Furen]

Here's the thing Furen, if people actually respect one another, they can have discussions about their own individual faiths, or lack of faith, and not be in an attempt to convert/de-convert the other. That might sound weird and foreign, but there are those of us who are mature enough to allow people to believe whatever they want to believe, no matter how ridiculous we might think it is, as long as they aren't hurting themselves physically or emotionally. I understand your concern, I really do, and for a 15 year old I MIGHT grant a concession due to how manipulative people are at that age, but overall...no.

Oh, I understand that, I choose what I believe myself, so I understand people do so as well. I was just saying watch out for any manipulation, which may, or may not be there.

[akorecki1]

Has anyone else realized how off topic this tread has become i am just a little curious if anyone else has realized it. Is it just me? Am I going insane like more than I already am?

[AdriTan]

Haha I'm sorry, you just wanted more suggestions right? Um.... Try not to get to deep? Keep the relationship light. I had a relationship when I was your age and believe it or not, at that age the deeper the relationship, the more likely it is going to go to complete ruin :/ If we hadn't been so "in love" we might still be friends now. It's just a suggestion. ^.^

[akorecki1]

Haha I'm sorry, you just wanted more suggestions right? Um.... Try not to get to deep? Keep the relationship light. I had a relationship when I was your age and believe it or not, at that age the deeper the relationship, the more likely it is going to go to complete ruin :/ If we hadn't been so "in love" we might still be friends now. It's just a suggestion. ^.^

thanks

[Vega]

As someone who's dated around a decent amount I can say that these are strict but doable rules. Rule 2 is a bit much but I guess if you're cool with it and you find a guy who is too then more power to ya.

[K. Ayato]

How about checking in with Mom before the movie starts, and then again once the movie is over? Seems fair to me.

[Vega]

In the words of the great Dave Chappelle, "How old is 15...really?"

[K. Ayato]

As comedian Jeff Allen put it, "No where in the Bible does it say how old the Devil was when he rejected God's authority. My guess would be fifteen!"

[Nate]

Whoa, Someone is getting hot under the collar...

You're new here so I can forgive you for not realizing when I'm not being serious. I guess I could have been a bit more eccentric in my post and that would have been a better clue. Let me try again.

I hope you're thrown in a pit of starving rats wearing a suit made of cheese for encouraging those jerks.

There, that scenario is ridiculous enough that it should be pretty clear I am joking.

And I completely disagree. Just because you desire something does not mean that it is unhealthy to resist it. Have you ever heard of 'Temptation'?

As far as I'm concerned temptation is only an issue if something is a sin. Show me in the Bible where it says "Thou shalt not kiss a boy if you are in high school" and I'll agree with you. Until then, if she wanted to kiss a boy but was denying herself that because of some dumb rule I think that's unhealthy and wrong. If she doesn't want to do that then it's a different story but then again there wouldn't really need to be a rule against something if she didn't want to do it anyway.

Unless it was her mom making that rule in which case she should obey her mother but her mother also shouldn't be so uptight.

encouraging someone to check in with their mother which I think will help them and her boyfriend remain pure and safe will distract you from a MOVIE

Dude what? Okay first of all if they're at a movie they're probably going to remain pure and safe or whatever because movie theaters tend to have other people in them and if two people start having sex in a movie theater someone's probably going to go "Hey these people are having sex in the theater!" and they'll get kicked out/arrested.

Second if I'm at a movie I don't want to be distracted which is why it's dumb for someone to call/text someone during a movie. If you're not gonna watch the movie why are you in the movie theater? Not to mention it's rude to the other theater-goers.

Third checking in with their mother isn't some sort of magic ritual that would protect them from harm. I'm pretty sure an hour is plenty of time to get naked and have sex, so if a person was so inclined they could check in with their mom (and lie about where they are), get laid, and then check in again in an hour and pretend like nothing happened.

I'm not saying that the idea of checking in with the parents is a bad one, it helps the parents know where their kids are (assuming the kids are truthful) and if something happens they have a relative idea of where they are. But it's not some sort of amazing panacea that will cure teenage promiscuity.

The guy I am dating isn't christian

I don't see any problem with this at all. Religion shouldn't be a deciding factor in who to marry. I have a good friend who is Muslim and her husband is agnostic, and they get along just fine. Being a specific religion doesn't matter because marriage is about how you work together as people. Merely being the same religion doesn't automatically mean you will have a good relationship, and being different religions doesn't automatically mean it won't work out. There's plenty of Christians I cannot get along with at all, and I have a good number of atheist/agnostic friends.

As long as you're treating each other respectfully and are having a healthy relationship, you shouldn't worry about him not being Christian. Of course if you want to try and get him involved in the church there's nothing wrong with that, but don't try to push him into being religious if he doesn't want to, that would only turn out poorly.

[HetalianKatana4]

I agree with goldenspines...and I'm still in my teens! Although, I agree with yamamaya as well. Everyone is different. So more power to ya! XD

I forgot something in the post that maybe you all should know about. The guy I am dating isn't christian but a real good friend that had a crush on me after he knew i had a crush on him.

Your story is sweet Although II Corinthians 6:14 says to not be "unequally yolked together with unbelievers". I know you two aren't planning on getting married anytime soon obviously but this is just something to keep in mind.

[Vega]

For awhile now I've heard the "unequally yoked" verse thrown around but honestly lets look at this in another light. If you've got your stuff in order regarding your faith, dating and/or marrying someone with contrasting views shouldn't be too much of a factor. This is coming from someone who had a pretty long relationship with someone of a completely different religion. In our time together we both we're strong enough in our believes to learn how to compromise and accept the other.

The verse regarding unequal yoking is referring to those easily influenced and pretty insecure in their faith so I wouldn't even worry about it.

[Atria35]

I'm with Nate and Vega on the religion thing.

There are many, MANY relationships that don't work out, even if the members are of the same religion. Heck, even those within the same denomination are not more likely to succeed than others, because there is so much more that goes into a relationship to make it work and even within denominations people don't have cookie-cutter beliefs. One of my best friends is Pagan and her husband is an Aetheist, and they have the best marriage I've ever encountered. So don't throw off a relationship merely because they aren't the same religion.

[AndrewinIce]

You're new here so I can forgive you for not realizing when I'm not being serious. I guess I could have been a bit more eccentric in my post and that would have been a better clue. Let me try again.

I hope you're thrown in a pit of starving rats wearing a suit made of cheese for encouraging those jerks.

There, that scenario is ridiculous enough that it should be pretty clear I am joking.

As far as I'm concerned temptation is only an issue if something is a sin. Show me in the Bible where it says "Thou shalt not kiss a boy if you are in high school" and I'll agree with you. Until then, if she wanted to kiss a boy but was denying herself that because of some dumb rule I think that's unhealthy and wrong. If she doesn't want to do that then it's a different story but then again there wouldn't really need to be a rule against something if she didn't want to do it anyway.

Unless it was her mom making that rule in which case she should obey her mother but her mother also shouldn't be so uptight.

Dude what? Okay first of all if they're at a movie they're probably going to remain pure and safe or whatever because movie theaters tend to have other people in them and if two people start having sex in a movie theater someone's probably going to go "Hey these people are having sex in the theater!" and they'll get kicked out/arrested.

Second if I'm at a movie I don't want to be distracted which is why it's dumb for someone to call/text someone during a movie. If you're not gonna watch the movie why are you in the movie theater? Not to mention it's rude to the other theater-goers.

Third checking in with their mother isn't some sort of magic ritual that would protect them from harm. I'm pretty sure an hour is plenty of time to get naked and have sex, so if a person was so inclined they could check in with their mom (and lie about where they are), get laid, and then check in again in an hour and pretend like nothing happened.

I'm not saying that the idea of checking in with the parents is a bad one, it helps the parents know where their kids are (assuming the kids are truthful) and if something happens they have a relative idea of where they are. But it's not some sort of amazing panacea that will cure teenage promiscuity.

I don't see any problem with this at all. Religion shouldn't be a deciding factor in who to marry. I have a good friend who is Muslim and her husband is agnostic, and they get along just fine. Being a specific religion doesn't matter because marriage is about how you work together as people. Merely being the same religion doesn't automatically mean you will have a good relationship, and being different religions doesn't automatically mean it won't work out. There's plenty of Christians I cannot get along with at all, and I have a good number of atheist/agnostic friends.

As long as you're treating each other respectfully and are having a healthy relationship, you shouldn't worry about him not being Christian. Of course if you want to try and get him involved in the church there's nothing wrong with that, but don't try to push him into being religious if he doesn't want to, that would only turn out poorly.

Very well, you are forgiven for not being eccentric enough .

And I was talking about resiting the temptation of something only if it was a Sin.

And as for the movies, I don't go to theaters. I've three times my whole life. But I know people who go all the time, and they say that everyone already does this, so one more person sending text will not matter. However, sending a or calling one before and after the moving sounds good.

And the purpose of calling the mother is to remind him and her it to put that image of Mom in her head. For me, Mom is a reason I don't want to mess up. I don't want her to be disappointed, and Mom always finds out everything I do wrong. No, calling or testing can't do anything. Except remind them about her Mom.

That was the theory behind me idea.

[AdriTan]

That was the theory behind me idea.

Heehee you sound Irish or something ^.^

At any rate I hope this thread is helping you out as much as you hoped for, akorecki1. ^.^

[akorecki1]

Heehee you sound Irish or something ^.^

At any rate I hope this thread is helping you out as much as you hoped for, akorecki1. ^.^

yep it has thanks. And i just found out he got hit by a car so pray for him. he is moving around so he is fine.

[Nate]

Although II Corinthians 6:14 says to not be "unequally yolked together with unbelievers".

This keeps coming up and I wrote a post on it ages ago, let me go and find what I said.

None of the context surrounding that verse even remotely mentions marriage, romance, or anything like that. Paul is talking about not putting a stumbling block in anyone's path, then says he's not withholding affection from the Corinthians, but they are from him...then he mentions the unequal yokes. Then after that, he asks the Corinthians to make room for him in their hearts, and talks a bit about his travels.

It just seems odd that Paul would be talking to the Corinthians, say that they're being a bit stubborn and unreasonable, then go off on a tangent about marriage, then go back to talking about them being stubborn and unreasonable. It doesn't make any logical sense. It doesn't flow right. The context suggests it's about something other than marriage, because then either Paul was a poor writer because he started talking about something completely off-topic part of the way through his letter, or it's somehow related and fits in with the surrounding passages.

It's really hard to say without knowing exactly what was going on in Corinth in those days. Maybe the church there was treating the church as a social club of sorts, just inviting anyone in there to chat and have a good time? Or maybe the people of the church would go to the temples of other religious people after their service and hang out with them there. Those scenarios would make sense in the context of Paul's letter, and would be a pretty decent interpretation of the "unequally yoked" verse.

Because yeah...Paul suddenly talking about marriage literally out of NOWHERE in the middle of a conversation about the Corinthians being cold-shouldered would just be bizarre.

[akorecki1]

Because yeah...Paul suddenly talking about marriage literally out of NOWHERE in the middle of a conversation about the Corinthians being cold-shouldered would just be bizarre.

Actually I have been engaged 3 times but one died from cancer one died from suicide and another was murdered. And now this one got hit by a car I am just bad luck.