Public note to everyone

Postby **Bobtheduck** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 6:56 pm

if you have problems with me or get the wrong idea and are offended by something I say, please take it to me in private. I got a PM that said that I was the focus of discussion in PM's to mods because some people were angry with me. If that's the case, talk to me FIRST... I don't know who it was, but it bugs me to know that. If you have a problem with me, tell ME about it first. I am this close to taking an axe to my computer right now. Please, take your problems with me to me, not to a mod or your girlfriend or some secret meeting...

Please, like had been said, take it to me and not to the thread you're in. I have defended myself on threads and gotten in trouble for it, but no more... The only reason I stay at CAA is pure lonliness... That's the only thing keeping me here, particularly after learning things like that. I am at the point of crying right now, I am so hurt by this... Please, deal with it with me privately...

Postby **CDLviking** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:08 pm

It's not only a matter of common courtesy to deal with the person you have the issue with privately, it is also biblical.

Mt. 18:15
But if thy brother shall offend against thee, go, and rebuke him between thee and him alone. If he shall hear thee, thou shalt gain thy brother.

If this fails then you involve other people. I know how annoying and hurtful it is to have people go behind your back with issues. Sometimes I have been completely unaware that there were issues until it was too late. We have PMs for a reason.

Postby **cbwing0** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:15 pm

I can understand how you feel. In addition the the biblical basis for being direct in confronting people with problems and concerns, it is just common courtesy not to act like a sniveling worm by going behind people's backs.

I hope that whoever it is that has a problem with you will have the courage to resolve it personally and peacefully.

Postby **blueraven** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:31 pm

I'm not really sure what to say but I thought I should say something all the same. I hope you don't only stay at CAA out of lonliness. I can't say I know you or you me for a fact but I can say I do enjoy reading your posts and trying to get to know you a bit better from what you say and what you don't say in your posts. Though I don't agree with what has happened and I'm not sure what to say on the subject I just thought it would be a good idea to let you know what I think no matter how insignificant it might be instead of waiting til it was to late.

If you have something to say, say it now, in the present so it can become the past so others may learn of it. Leave things not for the future for there is no certainty that tomorrow will become the past.

Postby **Aka-chan** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:51 pm

Well, I think you're really cool, if that counts for anything. ^__^

Postby **Shao Feng-Li** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:56 pm

well at lest it doesnt happen to you in the threads.... *ahem* ill eremmber this Bob, if i see something ill talk to you

Postby **Vyse** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:57 pm

Bobtheduck wrote:if you have problems with me or get the wrong idea and are offended by something I say, please take it to me in private. I got a PM that said that I was the focus of discussion in PM's to mods because some people were angry with me. If that's the case, talk to me FIRST... I don't know who it was, but it bugs me to know that. If you have a problem with me, tell ME about it first. I am this close to taking an axe to my computer right now. Please, take your problems with me to me, not to a mod or your girlfriend or some secret meeting...

Please, like had been said, take it to me and not to the thread you're in. I have defended myself on threads and gotten in trouble for it, but no more... The only reason I stay at CAA is pure lonliness... That's the only thing keeping me here, particularly after learning things like that. I am at the point of crying right now, I am so hurt by this... Please, deal with it with me privately...

I fully agree, and I would like to say that the same goes for me.

To Write Love on Her Arms · Postby **ZiP** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 8:03 pm

And me...

Postby **LorentzForce** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 8:57 pm

I hope no one hates me or something just because I'm not so active anymore...

Cheer up Bob

You know we all need you in this forum.

Postby **YesIExist** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 9:07 pm

I know how you feel, Bobtheduck. It's my opinion that the reason people do that is because it's easier to get a 3rd or 4th party involved than to make direct confrontation. In other words, it's more comfortable to get someone else involved than to do it themselves. Can't say I've never done that myself.

I don't have a beef with you, btw.

Postby **Bobtheduck** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 9:08 pm

Thanks... [button=off topic]Zip, you made me think **And my Axe!** That, and axes were already on my mind, hehe[/button]

Postby **Fsiphskilm** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 9:12 pm

GO BOB, say it li

Postby **Link Antilles** » Sat Mar 27, 2004 10:17 pm

Hey, Bob! I think your a cool personality to have in this online community. And you're a Metal Gear fan, so your cool in my book. I can understand how ya' feel. Nowadays, I can care less what people say behind my back, they can chat all they want. Though, if they a serious problem they can talk to me. I with ya' on that!

Btw, I'm glad you came back.

Stay cool, laters dude!

Postby **TwilightKissC3** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 7:22 am

Well i think your cool and if i here anything i'll tell you about it.
cuz taking behind someone's back is not only not biblical but just plain rude!!! :mutter:

keep going strong!

Postby **JediSonic** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 7:55 am

I like Viking's bible quote - pretty much hits the nail on the head.

And as for loneliness being the only reason so many of you come here.. well thats gotta stink. Loneliness as a homeschooler is A reason I come here, but there are lots of other reasons.... the arcade for example! :lol:

Postby **DrNic** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:36 pm

Yo, Bob, you shouldn't feel that noone likes you. I think your v.kool! Also I agree with what the majority of people have been saying (in other words it would be a complete rehash for me to give my full opinion). Talking behind peoples backs sux!

Just out of interest, how come your back on CAA? I was kinda confused when I saw your posts up again, lol!

Postby **Inferno** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 1:05 pm

Vyse wrote:I fully agree, and I would like to say that the same goes for me.

Same for me also; I totaly know how you feel.

Postby **Ingemar** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 1:25 pm

Something wrong?

I've never had a problem with you.

Postby **Bobtheduck** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 2:29 pm

DrNic wrote:Yo, Bob, you shouldn't feel that noone likes you. I think your v.kool! Also I agree with what the majority of people have been saying (in other words it would be a complete rehash for me to give my full opinion). Talking behind peoples backs sux!

Just out of interest, how come your back on CAA? I was kinda confused when I saw your posts up again, lol!

I don't feel like no one likes me, but I'm just the kind of person that can be weighed down by a few.

And, I'm back on CAA because I was really lonely and needed something... I was really having a hard time while I was off, and CAA lessens that a bit for me.

Postby **Mangafanatic** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 2:45 pm

This is a problem for everyone. We must all be sure to be courteous enough to talk to people when we have problems. On the other side of the coin, we must also be sure we are ready to accept what people say when they come to us.

This is not said you to you specifially BobtheDuck, I'm reminding everyone-- especially me!!!

Postby **EireWolf** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 2:49 pm

We love ya, Bob! :hug:

I hope you don't go away from CAA again; I think you're pretty cool.

Postby **Ashley** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 4:25 pm

Here's the endless cycle below.

#1 They get offended by a post.
#2 They report the post to a mod,
#3 the mod gets angry (or not) and then on the Public posts warns the user about the post and/or edits it.
#4 The user gets angry and disagrees with the ruling and/or feels like they should fight back
#5 Enless cycle's final stage is the offended user that got warned by a mod makes a post against the mod's/decision and speaks his/her opinion.
#6 Restart from #1

I Agree with Bob. Mods are there to help out if something gets out of controll (beyond control of the users) they're not here to babysit us. Welcome to the real world, this ain't Pre-school anymore.

For the sake of clarity, that's not exactly how things work around here from the staff angle. Yes, we definately get right on reported posts, but we don't get angry and edit it or not...if it's in the staffer's best judgement to do edit, delete, or whatever, then they respond as needed. Usually it's followed by a private message to the user and things are explained. And I can say 99% of the members don't get angry or upset; usually they're pretty compliant about things. Just thought I'd set that straight. And I'm not so sure about the "babysitting" part...in a way we ARE. We're here to make sure everything runs smoothly, and discussions don't get out of hand.

Postby **Spirit_Wolf8356** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 5:30 pm

I sympathize with you my friend. Especially on the loneliness thing. All of my friends live too far away to hang out with unless we do something right after school.

I personally think you are very cool. If you want someone to talk to, I'm usually always available, even if it is only through PMing. ^_^

Postby **Fsiphskilm** » Sun Mar 28, 2004 8:37 pm

[quote="Ashley"]For the sa

Postby **uc pseudonym** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 5:33 am

You're one of my favorite members, Bob. Don't worry about it.

In my mind, you needn't over-react about this one issue. I think this was the only time it occurred. I can, on the other hand, understand that you want to avoid anything of the sort happening on this issue.

Postby **Angel37** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 6:12 am

*cries* I know how you feel....unfortunately I have the same problems in the ranks with my friends over phones, not pm's but the issue still stands. I feel for you and I'll always be here to help you feel unlonely (is that a word???) Pm or e-mail me anytime! That offer goes to everyone and anyone who feels lonely. I know what it's like and I want to be there for you. *hearts* And to those who spoke behind Duck-san's back, isn't that gossip? Therefore unbiblical (is that a word too?). Go to God, then go to Duck-san. You don't have to make it public but please, at least apologize to him. WWJD?
-Angel of Zarn

Postby **Knives** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 7:16 am

Bobtheduck wrote:if you have problems with me or get the wrong idea and are offended by something I say, please take it to me in private. I got a PM that said that I was the focus of discussion in PM's to mods because some people were angry with me. If that's the case, talk to me FIRST... I don't know who it was, but it bugs me to know that. If you have a problem with me, tell ME about it first. I am this close to taking an axe to my computer right now. Please, take your problems with me to me, not to a mod or your friend or some secret meeting...

Please, like had been said, take it to me and not to the thread you're in. I have defended myself on threads and gotten in trouble for it, but no more... The only reason I stay at CAA is pure lonliness... That's the only thing keeping me here, particularly after learning things like that. I am at the point of crying right now, I am so hurt by this... Please, deal with it with me privately...

i hope you dont leave CAA cause of this.

Postby **kaji** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 8:54 am

Because I do not know the specifics of this situation, I can only make comment of the topic its self with no respects to any individuals what so ever.

First off, by putting this thread out there for every one to see, and rant about, you have essentially done exactly the opposite courtesy that you required of the person whom you may have offended.

Second, you are right, if some one has a problem or is upset with you, they should confront you alone with this concern. However, if they do not feel comfortable doing so, that is exactly what the Moderators are here for.

Third, Surely the Moderators would have not brought this to your attention if they did not consider, what ever the situation was, for legitimate concern.

Fourth, No one here wants to hurt you. Consider what ever has been brought to your attention constructive criticism, and try to apply it positively to your life both here on CAA and else where.

Fifth, Remember, with no two people made exactly the same, God has given way to unlimited personalities, and perceptions of the world. What may be humorous to one, could be annoying to another, insightful to some one else, and just plain obnoxious to yet another. You will undoubtedly offend people your whole life (especially when living the Christian life), but donâ€™t become discouraged by these things. Only allow them to help you grow stronger, and gain a better understanding of those around you.

Finally, Loneliness can be very hard, that is why God wants us to fellowship with one another. However, remember that God is always with you. Turn to him, like you best friend, when things are down and out and he will lend you a shoulder to lean on. (Note: it may not be his. ^^)

I hope I have not said anything to offend you, or any one else. ^^

Later,

-kaji

Postby **Hitokiri** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 12:45 pm

you're awesome in my book Bob! You're one of the ,e,bers I truly look up to. Wjoever is spreading rumors and what not, well just call on me ::cracks knuckles::

lol :lol:

im kididng

Postby **DrNic** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 1:34 pm

I think this was the only time it occurred.

It has only just occurred to me but let me just point out that most other forums I've been on have had a lot more of this sorta behaviour going on in them. Thats mainly because all the users I ever met were immature, couldn't take a joke or were just online to 'cause trouble'.

Here I have always noticed that everyone has much, much more respect for one another, are all more friendly, have better values and don't cause trouble (and if they do they get an angry Ashley after them ^_^). I really think thats kool though, and thats why I definatally plan on staying. I hope you do aswell Bob cuz there are so many great people to talk to on here. Sorry if I sound like I'm sucking up to someone but its true. CAA ROX!!!

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