eharmony?

Postby **Fsiphskilm** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 1:36 pm

[quote=

Postby **teen4truth** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 2:06 pm

[quote="Volt"]Online Dating or At a Bar surrounded by Drunks Dating[quote]
Niether.

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse ar awaken love until it so desires." Song of Songs 2:7

You guys, what this verse is saying is that you are never supposed to LOOK for anyone in anyway. You are supposed to WAIT. God does not need an online dating service to bring you the person that is ment for you. In the scripture surrounding this verse the writer is telling of how wonderful thier life with thier lover is. By this God wants us to see that love will be just as wonderful for us if we do what that verse says: WAIT. Now the Song of Songs is a perverted book, and I think Solomon had litteraly a thousand wives when he wrote that book. But yet, as i read that verse, i felt like God was trying to speak to me through it.

I think that online dating is wrong also because God doesnt support things that Satan can use for bad like that. Very few people if any that look for thier mates on Eharmony are looking for the ones that God wants them to have, and many times Satan uses on-line dating to pair people up with people that they dont belong with. So why would God support on-line dating by making his own children use it?

Also, using online dating services can lead others astray. For example: I have lots of little cousins who all look up to me. they do the whole, "I want to sit by lyndsay, you got to last time!" thing. Now none of them live in good christian homes, so if say I decided to use Eharmony and pray that God would not let Satan use it against me, but that he would use it for his will....my little cousins arent going to realize that I did it for Gods will! and even if i tell them, it will just go in one ear and out the other! Satan is in control of thier lives since they are not true Christians, and he would never let that sink in! So they would think "oh lyndsay does it and she is a Christian it must be Okay." and "if she does it then i want to do it too!" And then they would go and do it without guidence from God, and Satan would be able to tighten his hold on there lives. Now let me remind you, my little cousins are not even teenagers yet, so they're not big on dating anyways...so most of you fellow teenagers and twenty+ year olds would have to be even more careful! Our piers would do the same thing as my little cousins would.

You've got to remember, stepping into Christianity means that everyone is watching you. this isnt a little game this is the adventure of all time! We are the few, the chosen. The only ones who dare to step away from modern society. The only ones who are brave enough to step into the light and walk the strait and narrow road. EVERY DECISION, EVERY SINGLE BREATH THAT WE MAKE goes to either God or Satan. Therefore we should make decisions that are pleasing to God, and think-just think-is online dating really one of them?

There is no fooling around in this adventure, there is no in between, no maybe, no turnig back. The bible says that we either have to be hot or cold, and that God would rather us to be cold then luke warm.

We are rejects and fools for God, Satan has turned the world against us. We have to put on the armour of purity in order to survive. Purity is not a line that we draw in the sand and try not to cross, it is a DIRECTION. That direction leads to holiness and perfection. If we do not go in that direction then we drift backwords into the grasp of the Evil One.

I know you probably think that this is a lot of baloni, but please consider and pray about it. I posted it not becuz i wanted to have the best post on this thread, but becuz God is my best friend, my luver and my father and he doesnt deserve people going half way in thier relationship with him. Please dont take any of this personaly, I am trying to fight the Forces of Darkness not any of you fellow CAAers. I will also be looking for more verses to post that will hopefully give you all Godly guidence with your love lives:)

teen4truth

Postby **agasfas** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 2:21 pm

I think that online dating is wrong also because God doesnt support things that Satan can use for bad like that.

Well, when you think about it, the internet has also helped in strengthing people's spiritual life too. More people are coming to Christ and such. So there are bad, but the internet has also helped progress as well; hence: CAA and various other christian sites, support groups and such.

I do agree that people need to wait for God, but that doesn't mean we should just sit around hoping for things to happen. Sometimes the Lord has so much in store for people and yet the people don't do anything. God doesn't just put things in our laps, sometimes we have to reach out and accept His gifts. So perhaps it's meeting people online but how is that different from meeting people in a social club or something? You go there to meet people with simliar interests and I see nothing wrong with it.

Personally, as long as persons only objective is to meet others who may have similar interest, I see nothing wrong. Isn't that what we look in for a future mate? In todays society, especially here in Austin, it's very hard to find people to relate to with my moral beliefs and such. If two people meet in real life, fall in love and get married that's cool. But why is it frowned upon for two people to meet online, get to know each others background a bit, see if there's a interest, then meet in real life? If they get married, wouldn't have God sent that person to him just like He did in the other case?

Also, some people don't have the greatest luck with meeting other people. I mean, meeting onlline could also set aside the first impression of "looks," and get a decent feel for their personality (set lust aside).

But I can understand people being put off by online dating. Most of my friends who have done it, have had little to no sucucess. But that's because they had nothing in common (interest or age) with the other person, both personalities were total 180 from another, and they met on AIM or a chat room.

But doesn't eharmony do the personality test? So perhaps that may be a reason why the results are better. I guess whether online or not, people can just not hit it off... even though the interests are similar. That's life.

Although I'm not one for online dating, if it's God's will that y'all get together, then it's His will, online or not.

Truth is, there are crazy people both online and real life.

Postby **teen4truth** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 2:47 pm

You are right, agasfas, God doesnt just set things in our lap all the time. but if he wants us to reach out and take it, he would probably tell us to. We have to be careful that we dont let Satan tell us to and try to trick us into thinking that it is God's will.

You are also right that there are things on the net to work for God's good, but those are mostly things that God specifacally made to serve him(CAA, Christian Furoms, ect) or that where made just for fun and he decided to use for his good whenever he could(neopets, yahoo!, ect). Eharmony was thought of by Satan, and he used a lustful human being to create it. I know that is a strong statement that most of you will not like, but i do believe that it is true.

Also, you are forgeting that love is something you should wait for, not look for. If you go to an online dating service, then you are definately looking, there is no other explanation no matter how manny excuses you have.

You guys are treating love like it is a toy, something meant for us to abuse and play with how ever we want, and it is not like that. Love, TRUE love, is a wonderful, once in a lifetime gift from God that should not be taken in vain.

Not to menchon that meeting someone over the internet is tottaly unromantic, at least in my opinion. I dont want to fall in love with my prince just becuz some online personality test says that we are good for eachother, that is like so predictable! I think it is so much more romantic when you let the Lord send love to you out of nowhere and sweep you off your feet unexpectedly^_^

Well, wish I could stay and talk about this important subject, but I will have to get off in a few minutes-im about to go somewhere. But be whare, I WILL BE BACK!!!!! lol

yours truley, teen4truth

Postby **agasfas** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 2:57 pm

If eharmony and other places you goto to meet others are created by satan, then so are christian gatherings. Not everything is the will of Satan, but Satan does sometimes take good things twist them and make the bad (ex: belief in christ to cults).

I don't treat love like a toy and I certainly don't take it for granted. I'm 19 and still haven't had a girlfriend and I will never say "I love you," unless I mean it. But it's not wrong to look for love. People look for God's love all the time... others look for love from others for support. Is that wrong? No, love isn't a toy, but many people seek it, try to understand it and feel it. And I can't condemn people for doing that.

I mean, if someone has never had a girlfriend and feels down all the time, what's wrong with looking for people with simliar interest online? Online dating is different from meeting people online. Personally, I think one another. I agree, online is somewhat unromantic, but it's not wrong to meet friend there, then if things progress meet each other.

Postby **EireWolf** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:02 pm

teen4truth, I appreciate your zeal, and your commitment to God and to your future spouse. I can sense your passion for Christ. But you are making some statements that are very questionable.

The Song of Songs is not a "perverted book." God created sex, and it's a beautiful thing -- between a husband and wife. You're very young, so of course it's not for you yet, but know that it is not "perverted."

Also, I think it's dangerous to make a statement like, "Eharmony was thought of by Satan, and he used a lustful human being to create it." As several people have mentioned, the guy who started it is a Christian. I don't know much about how or why he started eHarmony, but here's how I see it: Lots of people were doing the online dating thing already. There wasn't much in the way of safety precautions, or encouraging serious commitment. Perhaps God gave the guy the idea of eHarmony to fill that void, so that people could have a safer, more serious venue for what they would do anyway. Online dating isn't wrong in and of itself.

I don't advocate online dating, because I think that much of the time it is foolish. However, my best friend and her husband met online. They are both serious Christians, and they are now happily married with 2 little boys. So -- God can use anything.

The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it! (psalm 24:1)

Postby **Raiden no Kishi** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:15 pm

Godly Paladin wrote:Personally I will never use and internet service to find my wife. God'll take care of it. (Although if He directs me to eHarmony, I'm going to be a bit of a liar. )

I'm with you, although if God tells me to sign up for an online dating service I'm gonna ask for some I.D. ^_^

.rai//

Postby **teen4truth** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:16 pm

to agasfas:

You are right, maybe it was harsh to say that eharmony was made by satan, and sorry about that. But it is true that the thoughts of love that where in the person who made its head where from Satan, so yes, in a long term rang he made it.

I didnt mean to point that line of treating love like a toy directly at you, i am sorry if i made it sound that way. And i dont date either, and i dont plan to until i mean it either, so i definately agree with you and respect your stand there.

No it is not wrong to look for friendly love- but i do think that it is wrong to look for smoochy(yes i know, weird word but i couldnt think of how else to say it lol) love. If someone feels down all the time because they never had a girlfriend or boyfriend, then what needs to be changed is the way they think, not the fact that they are single. You see, whoever God made us for, he made us for before we even met that person. He has predestined every couple before they even existed therefore we should be faithful to that person forever, not just when we know them.

I hope that when you find a girl that you love, it is truely the one and you will be with her forever, agasfas. But until then, dont you think that it is cheating on them to sleep with, kiss, or even just have feelings for anyone else?

well, i am logging of know, but i leave you with this verse:
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28

your friend(yes i think of you as a friend, not an enemy), teen4truth

Postby **Spiritsword** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:18 pm

God may even work in ways you don't expect. When I was still apart from the Lord (though coming back), I went on Yahoo Personals (yes, Yahoo, not even a Christian dating site), and immediately started chatting with a young lady. We started E-Mailing frequently, and eventually she came to visit me. Long story short, it was not God's will that we have a romantic relationship--however, God ended up using this *Christian* young lady more than any other human being to bring me back to Him and cause me to commit to Him again in faith. And after 6 years, we're still friends and she still provides me with spiritual guidance. In fact, she's the one who pointed out CAA to me. Without our meeting, I might not be here writing this and might be a lot further back in my walk of faith or not walking with God at all. And all because God used an online dating service in an unexpected way.

It's all in God's will--He can use anything, in any way He chooses, to do His will and glorify Himself. Just pray and be sure it's His will before trying specific online dating sites.

Postby **teen4truth** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:19 pm

oh eire wolf you most have posted whil i was writing my post...but anyways i wasnt trying to say that sex was perverted it is a wonderful thing...when kept for the marriage bed, but i meant that Song of Songs was perverted in the fact that he wrote it so many different woman.

and Spiritsword...God may not have chosen to use the dating site for good, but in my walk with him, i have seen that he can take the stupid(no offense) things that we do and turn them into good^_^

Postby **White Raven** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:25 pm

My fiancÃ© (Jeremy) and I met online.
Everyone told him that he would end up with a nutcase... Well here I am.

Postby **agasfas** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:25 pm

But until then, dont you think that it is cheating on them to sleep with, kiss, or even just have feelings for anyone else?

Wait what? I'm confused. I'm not doing self-pitty or talking about randomly dating many people. I was only arguing the other side. I don't do online dating and my dating beliefs are strict. If I date someone, it's only them and no one else. I give them a 100% of my feelings and no less. ANd I would never cheat, ever. Jjust because you kiss a girl you have dated doesn't mean that cheated on your future spouse.

Hardly does someone marry the first person they have strong feelings for. It happens but not really likely.
And I won't have pre-marital sex either, I don't believe in that.

You see, whoever God made us for, he made us for before we even met that person. He has predestined every couple before they even existed therefore we should be faithful to that person forever, not just when we know them.

Yes I know. So if God already knows, he could have put two people togethe from onlline just as good as He could have done from two people meeting in a social group.

Postby **EireWolf** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:48 pm

teen4truth, I don't think anyone here disagrees with you that promiscuity of any kind is a Really Bad Thing (TM). The issue here is whether or not God can use things like eHarmony.

It really depends on the people involved as to whether or not eHarmony is good or bad. Bad people can use it for lustful purposes, of course. But Christians can also use it, if God directs, to connect with their future spouse.

Anything can be twisted to evil purposes. On the other hand, God can use anything for good. If a thing is not evil in and of itself, don't say that it's evil in and of itself.

Postby **Doubleshadow** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 4:07 pm

I'd say if God will use a donkey to fulfill His purpose, then He would use a website.

Postby **teen4truth** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 7:13 pm

You guys, please note that everything i post i am not posting with anger or hate, but please relize that i am posting my opinion...just like you are. im not trying to tell you how you should live your lives, i am trying to be a good Christian friend and give you good moral encouragement^_^

EiereWolf wrote:teen4truth, I don't think anyone here disagrees with you that promiscuity of any kind is a Really Bad Thing (TM). The issue here is whether or not God can use things like eHarmony.

my original point was that eharmony can not be used by God because you should not look for someone, the Bible says to wait.

and id also like to point out that most online services must be paid for by the user, and everytime you pay them that means you are paying them to help other couples who might not even be meant for eachother get together.

agasfas wrote:Wait what? I'm confused. I'm not doing self-pitty or talking about randomly dating many people. I was only arguing the other side. I don't do online dating and my dating beliefs are strict. If I date someone, it's only them and no one else. I give them a 100% of my feelings and no less. ANd I would never cheat, ever.

Yes, agasfas, i know that you would never cheat. But i was not trying to point fingers at you-or anyone else for that matter. i respect your dating stand and it is in many ways exactly like my own. i was just saying that the one you are ment for is the one you are ment for, no matter if you know them yet or not.

agasfas wrote:Jjust because you kiss a girl you have dated doesn't mean that cheated on your future spouse.

Think of it like this:they are your future spouse, but they are your one true love for your whole life...even before it starts. so kissing someone else is not exactly cheating on your spouse, but it is cheating on your one true love. Besides, dont you want to save all of your passion, even the simple, out-of-bed passion, for the person that God made specifaclly for you to live happily ever after with?

guys please remember that this is my mere humanly opinion... if you want the full truth, then you've got to go to the only one who knows the full truth...God. So please, every time you post here please ask God that it will be his will in your post, not yours. For some of you that are not used to having full conversations with God, that may seem hard, but hey, this would be a great place to start. Please listen to him and wait for is majestic whispers to guide you alng... After all this thread is about serving him, not ourselves^_^

teen4truth

Postby **Kaligraphic** » Sat Jul 16, 2005 11:55 pm

If you wait for you "one true love" before allowing yourself to develop feelings for anyone, you'll never find this "one true love". The simple fact is that the idea that everyone has a "one true love" out there somewhere is simple bunk. The person you end up with will become your one true love as your hearts are knit together in a certain way. You cannot love what you do not know. This is why the affection of one who knows you is greater than that of one who does not.

There are levels of intimacy that is only appropriate within marriage, but there are levels which are appropriate before then. It's not an all or nothing proposition. You have to start somewhere or you'll never get to marriage.

The Bible says a couple times "Greet ye one another with a holy kiss", and again in one place it says "Greet ye one another with a kiss of love" - surely the meanings of these are one and the same, yet I trust you would not be suggesting that we would have recorded three times an apostle of God giving instruction against better judgement.

Now, regarding the site, I think it is a less than ideal method of finding a mate, but I would never condemn it as a sin, nor would I condemn or look down on anyone who used it or worked for the site.

(oh, and two last thoughts. One: if you only have one true love, how about widowers/widows who remarry? Two: God once expressly told a prophet to marry a prostitute. He's done a lot of seemingly crazy stuff. Don't try to tell Him what He can and can't use - trust me, He'll prove you wrong.)

Postby **Ashley** » Sun Jul 17, 2005 6:13 pm

Teen4Truth, perhaps the reason you feel like so many people are attacking you is because they percieve you as being very dogmatic and very holier-than-thou and preachy when they have done nothing wrong. If you don't want to be treated this way, perhaps you need to reconsider how you word yourself and make it so that it doesn't seem so antagonistic. A gentle word turns away wrath, after all.

As for my PERSONAL two cents here, I couldn't agree more with Kaligraphic's post. I think some forms of affection are very clearly off-limits except for husbands and wives, but I also believe if you don't show ANY affection whatsoever, you'll never feel like they are "the one".

I also think long-distance dating as a few advantages--as others mention, it completely throws out any sense of physical attraction based on looks or clothes; it's based on personality and how well you match up (provided all parties are mature, capable adults and are telling the truth). Secondly, it takes a lot of patience and endurance, both of which are never bad things to build up. And lastly, what an awesome testimony you would have if you did indeed meet your mate online. Can you imagine telling people "Yep, my God is so good, so powerful, He brought me and my husband together even though we were thousands of miles apart". My mother always taught me that when it's right, if it's meant to be, God will orchestrate your meeting.

Sure, online dating has lots of cons to it and it can be dangerous. But so is a lot of what we do, hence we need to strengthen our walk with the One who made our mate before seeking him/her out. I won't tell my God what He can and cannot do in my life, or the wonderfully suprising ways He can work.

One last lil' bit....I don't even think you should bother "dating" in high school. Dating needs to be a very serious, very slow-moving look for a mate between adults only. Besides, I never once dated while I was in high school, and when I DID start a relationship I was very, very glad that I had not (and so was he :lol:

)

Postby **shooraijin** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 7:42 am

Doubleshadow wrote:I'd say if God will use a donkey to fulfill His purpose, then He would use a website.

Quite.

By the way, I think this thread is one of the better discussions we've had recently around here, especially since online relationships are bound to happen in a forum like this where there are many people from many walks able to be emotionally connected easily. Somewhere, sometime, a link will be forged.

I don't think eHarmony, or any other online dating site, is inherently wrong, only a tool. All tools can be misused. Of the dating sites, I think that eHarmony has a better than average chance of doing the right thing because of their rigourous screening methods, their Christian executive leadership (even though the company itself is not ostensibly Christian per se), and their focus on relationships rather than casually playing the field. The fact that there might *not* be a Mr/Ms Right when you sign up and complete the survey, and probably won't be, speaks more about the honesty of the site that they'll tell you the plain truth rather than trying to please a money-paying subscriber with dodgy, less-optimal matches.

Online dating -- and for that matter any long distance relationship -- isn't for everyone, but it's for *some* people, and it does have the advantages (others have said) of taking a lot of the vagaries of that awkward first moment out of the picture. You don't have to have your hair perfect or your clothes ironed when you "meet" online. You can put your best foot forward in what you type and how you spell, and you can think about what you're saying to the other person and get to know them without being distracted by how cute they are. ^_^ Physical attraction is important, but that can come later.

On the other hand, online and long distance relationships require a commitment to follow the relationship through, even if it fails; the maturity to take inventory of where it's going and what pitfalls remain; and the self-motivation to know that at some point you must transform the relationship into a short-distance, face to face one or it won't be a relationship anymore -- even if all the pieces are there, you have to make sure that your walks with Christ will eventually lead you down the same path together physically. These are all things I've had to learn from previous experience. Marriage doesn't happen with the bride and groom thousands of miles apart from each other.

But I've really liked reading this thread, and I hope to see more opinions in it.

Postby **EireWolf** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:12 pm

teen4truth wrote:my original point was that eharmony can not be used by God because you should not look for someone, the Bible says to wait.

#1: I don't understand how you can say that anything "can not be used by God." As someone already mentioned, God used a donkey to talk to a man. God used Joseph's situation as a slave in Egypt. God used persecution to spread the Gospel. God can use anything.

#2: Two words: Ruth and Boaz. I think you're taking one verse ("Do not awaken love until it so desires") and making a doctrine out of it. Yes, it's good to wait for your future spouse. But that does not mean it's good to sit on your butt and do nothing. Seek God's guidance in all things, but don't sit there waiting for Him to strike you with lightning or speak to you in a voice of thunder. God often guides His children when they are already walking.

Postby **Fsiphskilm** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 3:24 pm

Website · Postby **Alice** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:03 pm

I look at it this way. eHarmony is like the old time match maker... who picked someone out for you... hopefully through years of experience and taking into account what you're like, and whether you like the person. Etc.

This is better, IMO, because:

1) it uses scientific stuff

2) you aren't stuck with the person like you are when match-makers pick them out, (the site encourage you to make your own decisions about the people)

So you're getting some outside (and more objective) help, but you're not stuck with their picks.

And it's much better than meeting people in bars.

EDIT: Not that I have or do.

Postby **Arnobius** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:25 pm

I'd probably use it, but I don't have the kind of salary that I could afford to support a wife and children with, so it's something that wouldn't be too responsible for me to use right now.

Postby **steelbeliever** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 7:57 am

Wow...you guys got busy while i was gone! anyway...i talked to my friend and she said she already had a match...i think she's looking for love at the wrong time in her life though...it is kinda funny you should mention God using anything to fulfill his purpose...i was inspired to lead a youth class at my church talking about relationships, break-ups, and dating for both sexes...In the last two years i have had some rocky relationships because i wanted to rush into romance and it jstu wasn't my time...when i listen to this high school kids talking about someof their experiences it kinda scares me...they've been through some pretty hairy stuff...many of them have often tried dating sites or even phone services, but i jstu told them to remember that God does and will always have a plan for them...you guys all ahve pretty good points...plus, this'll be great stuff for my next class! i'll give you all credit though...hehe...

Postby **teen4truth** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 9:31 pm

Ya, steelbeliever, I know what you mean. We cant just wait for the right person, we have to wait for the right time, too.

I believe it was commented that I should not try to tell God what he can and cannot use for his will. Please now that I was not trying to tell God what he couldnt use for his pupose, and if I am then doesnt that mean that you all are trying to tell him what he can use? Dont take that personally...it was just a thought.

Sorry everyone, but I havent yet read all that was posted since I last posted. I am getting rather tired of debating this issue, so I do not plan to post again or even come in here for a while if not never. I said what I had to say, and none of you were convinced, so if God was trying to use me to speak to you(which I am not trying to say that I know he was, I am just saying IF) through me, then you did not listen and he will have to do so through someone or something else.

So I leave you not asking that you read all my posts and do everything exactly as they say, but asking you to talk about this topic with the supreme matchmaker, God. I know I certianly will^_^

your sis in Christ,
teen4truth

Postby **Nate** » Wed Jul 20, 2005 9:57 am

teen4truth wrote:Please now that I was not trying to tell God what he couldnt use for his pupose, and if I am then doesnt that mean that you all are trying to tell him what he can use? Dont take that personally...it was just a thought.

Though you said yourself you didn't plan to come in here again, I still felt the need to respond to this.

No, it isn't telling God what He can use. Because the Bible already states that there is only one thing God can't do: sin. He can do ANYTHING except sin. That would mean it would be quite simple for Him to use a website to bring two people together. That isn't a sin, so God can do it.

However, to state that God cannot do something is a completely different route, because as I said before, it is stated that there is only one thing God can't do.

For the record, I don't see anything wrong with those websites at all, and in fact think they are a very good idea (though I have no plans to use them).

if God was trying to use me to speak to you(which I am not trying to say that I know he was, I am just saying IF) through me, then you did not listen and he will have to do so through someone or something else.

Though I'm not harping on you, I have only one thing to say in response, as you did earlier with the "aren't you telling God what he can do?"

Isn't it possible that God is trying to speak through us and trying to tell you through us that this is acceptable to His will? Just a thought.

Postby **shooraijin** » Wed Jul 20, 2005 10:03 am

Anyway, let's get back on topic. *ahem*

I did try one (I won't say which) briefly for a period, a few years back. I met a couple people there and one I corresponded with for a little bit, but some irrevocable differences popped up in a hurry -- not ones about spirtuality or Christianity, but personality differences that would have strained the relationship, and I cut it off. Mercifully, it was not very long-lived in any case. It was a Christian site, at least (not just a dating site that has a Christian section).

Part of that I attribute to the way the site was structured; it was an amateur-created site that snowballed, and didn't really change the way they were matching people or having people describe themselves. There was no inaccuracy about it, but it didn't tell the whole story either, and that limitation was not immediately apparent.

Postby **That Dude** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 3:19 pm

I found one of my five wives on Eharmony. :grin:

(I hope that you guys don't take that seriously.)

Postby **Pent** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 3:55 pm

People always say "the one". Although there is an argument over this I don't think there is "the one" (Unless of course your talking about Jet Lee in which case you are wrong because there is still one left for him to kill to become the one, and he is stuck right now). I think the one is who ever you and them (person you marry) makes it to be. You can't wait around for this person to come around and be like I am the one! And you are like no! I will be the one! (ok i'll stop). I agree that you shouldn't be out
looking at my age. But you have to get to know a person and work at a relationship before you are married and stuff. My pastor believes this to, that anyone can be the one.

Postby **Kaligraphic** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 5:03 pm

How about Neo? Wasn't Neo "the One"? (Jet Li's The One > Matrix Sequels, btw)

But back on-topic, while I have some significant reservations regarding sites like that, most of them involve:
A: matters of methodology (how does the program match? I just don't trust complex, non-scientific calculations about that which is very difficult to quantify.)
B: matters of cost (I wouldn't really want to spend any money on it - a girlfriend is expensive enough without adding up-front costs.

)
C: matters of existence (people I only know over the Internet aren't entirely real as people, more as "person-like objects" akin to super-intelligent chicken wings.)
D: matters of manner (I can tell a lot about someone just by seeing them interact with the world for a very short time. Much, much more than I'm likely to learn over the Internet.)
E: matters of interest (I'm not looking to date online, so if I paid to sign up for such a site, I'd probably forget about it and my money would go to waste. Plus, if I did join such a site, I'd probably meet the girl of my dreams the next day. In person. Making the site a complete waste of money. But that's just me.)

Basically, they go to efficacy, not morality.

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 12:11 pm

Pent wrote:People always say "the one". Although there is an argument over this I don't think there is "the one" (Unless of course your talking about Jet Lee in which case you are wrong because there is still one left for him to kill to become the one, and he is stuck right now)

*laughs out lout* :lol:

i saw that move yesterday! It was pretty cool!

however teen4truth. Yes eharmony can be used to find dates, but think. What IS dating? No it is NOT makin out with people saying "I love you" etc etc, the point of eharmony is to meet people whom you think you can become good friends with, and maybe even take that extra step further to see if you can have a wholesome relationship. You dont go making out with a girl on your first date, you aren't considered "boyfriend/girlfriend" when dating, dating is too spend some time with someone whom you think you can develop further into a relationship.

The website says this:

Our compatibility matching system matches you taking into account the 29 key dimensions that help predict compatibility and the potential for relationship success. The results are matches unlike anything you will find anywhere else. The process may take longer, and cost a little bit more than dating services, but eHarmony isn't about dating. Our goal is to help you find your soul mate. eHarmony is the most powerful system available, online or off, to help you create the relationship you want.

yes, you date those you meet at eharmony, date a fair amount of people, get to know them. NOT consider yourselves "boyfriend/girlfriend" And see if you can... further develop the relationship to a happy marriage

eharmony?

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