I need help with a rather personal issue...

[RefractedAhav]

I need help with a rather personal issue that has been gnawing at me for about a year now. You see, there is a girl that I met last year in one of my college classes, and I like her. Before her has been six years since I have liked anyone, this way. I didn't feel as uneasy around her as I do around most people when I first meet them. I enjoy spending time with her and talking with her. I really, really want to get to know her better, but I don't want to go on a date quite yet. To be honest, the idea of dating scares me. I could really use some advise. I have prayed about it but I don't seem to be getting any answers, at lest I haven't seen/heard them yet. Please help.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

aww ^_^

well... just... start things slow. And wait till she might give away an idea that she likes you back or something. I never dated so.... i can't help much heh

[CDLviking]

A celebate person is probably the last person you should take dating advice from. With that disclaimer out of the way, I think it's good that dating scares you a little. Dating is far too lax in today's culture. I think dating should be looked at as a discernment of marriage. I think that if at any time you begin to think that this girl may have the qualities you're looking for in a spouse, that's when you should start to bring up the topic of dating.

[LightUpTheDark]

I agree with CDLviking. Take things slow. Pray without ceasing, and if you feel God is directing you, that she may be the one for you, start to date or court her. Well, it might help to find out if she shares your feelings sometime along the line too... but anyway, just take things slow and set boundries. Date only in groups for a while if that makes you more comfortable... I hope I was of some help...

[Zane]

CDL said it, western, particularly US culture, over emphasis' the dating thing, I think you should only "go out" with this girl if she is like pretty (wait for it ladies)-up-there for marriage material (there you go, no harm intended .
Becoming friends is a way better way of getting to know someone without all the strings, plus you can then tell if you like her or not after u know her abit better.
Its early days i know but... your wife is your best friend, not some girl who you had a crush on, know what i mean.

Get to know her as a friend first, thats my advice, and hey the chase is always fun

[cbwing0]

Before you think about going on a date, just try to get to know her better in a more casual setting. If you have any classes with her (or see her regularly anywhere else) use that as an opportunity to become friends. That way, you can work your way up to an actual date, or perhaps you will find that she is not the right girl for you. The important thing to keep in mind is that dating shouldn't be the first step in a relationship. Before you get to that, just get to know each other (after all, dating is not designed for that).

[Galant]

Maybe just try to think of it as pursuing a friendship. Personally I think too many people jump from aquaintaces to 'couple'. I think one's spouse should come from one's friends. Someone you've gotten to know without the pressure and perspective of 'relationship'.

Seeing as you really don't know her that well, acknowledge to yourself that she could turn out to be anyone and that you're just going to try to bless her by being a friend and finding out who she is for herself - not just wheher she's girlfriend material. Those questions will being to answer themselves. Just be nice to her, not romantic, see if you can't be a friend.

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