Am I bad to want a pet...?

[Debitt]

I'm not sure where else to put this, but I suppose I really need some advice and comforting right now, so...sorry if this is the wrong forum.

I've been a sort of lonely person for a good part of my life. I'm just the type who doesn't make friends very quickly, and it doesn't seem like I can keep many of them very long either. I'm uncomfortable around strangers and I always feel awkward in a lot of social situations, so for this reason I can't bring myself to hang around people much, and I don't have many friends. My best friend and my soul mate, the one person I feel I can truly trust and understand, lives halfways across the country now, and my parents don't allow me to mail things to her or call her on the phone anymore. My boyfriend's dropping out of public school in favor of homeschooling, so I won't get to see him very much anymore either. So I suppose my wanting a pet to take care of is some attempt to make up for my lacking those two people in my life now.

The thing is, my family has a "family dog", and since we already have a "family dog", my parents seem reluctant to let me get another pet, whether it be a new puppy or a hamster. It's not like I don't love my dog, but he's old and he can't come inside the house because he might pee all over everything, and he spends a lot of time sleeping outside, so I feel like I can't really take care of him or look after him like I could do for another pet.

I've talked to my parents more than several times about the matter, and they say that our dog is more than enough for me to take care of and they accuse me of not being loving enough or not playing with him enough. They don't seem to understand why I want a pet to call my own, and they really don't seem to get the fact that, just because I want a pet of my own doesn't mean I love our dog any less.

But I don't know, after getting yelled at about wanting a pet several times, I'm beginning to feel guilty. Am I really just being a spoiled brat wanting a pet? Am I taking my current dog for granted? Am I trying to rely on my boyfriend, my best friend, and an animal more than I'm relying on God? Is it a bad thing to want a pet that I can love and nurture and hold in the absence of the people I love?

[bakura_fan]

No. I don't think that you are wrong to want a pet. It took me awhile to get my parents to get a new pet. I'll pray for you though. ^_^

[ZiP]

It is a hainess sin to want a pet, to love!!!

I don't particularly think there's anything wrong with wanting a pet,
frankly Dogs just don't sound like your type of pet, if it were a Cat I might think differently,
I frankly know zero dogs that could be as cuddlish as cats.

So no your not a brat,
ZiP

[ShiroiHikari]

T_T *hug* you're not a bad person for wanting a pet to love. yes, God should be first priority in your life, but I don't think that means you have to be alone. we desire companionship, God made us that way. it's not wrong.

[Ssjjvash]

I'm kinda' the same way. I'm very shy and nervous around strangers. The friends I made just ended up moving or leaving the church. (that's terrible)

Wanting a pet is perfectly normal and there's nothing wrong with it! I heard stories about people who were really sad. but their spirits were lifted because they got some kind of animal to take care of.
God gives you the desires of your heart!
Hope this helps a lil'.

[Rev. Doc]

The thing is, my family has a "family dog", and since we already have a "family dog", my parents seem reluctant to let me get another pet, whether it be a new puppy or a hamster. It's not like I don't love my dog, but he's old and he can't come inside the house because he might pee all over everything, and he spends a lot of time sleeping outside, so I feel like I can't really take care of him or look after him like I could do for another pet.

Forgive me for sounding like a dad, but this is an issue I've discussed with my own children before. The sad thing about pets is, they grow older over time. The cute, playful kitten does not remain cute and playful forever. The adorable puppy is going to eventually mature and will no longer act like a puppy. I know that this information is nothing new, but the reality is that so many only want pets at a certain stage. Pets are like humans in regard to the fact that as they age they need more attention and in many cases more pampering. You have a family dog who is now older and at the point that even bodily functions can present something of a chore to you. But I have little doubt that it desires that same amount of attention, if not more, than you have ever given it before. I would encourage you to give it that attention. Bathe it, feed it, talk to it and make it's remaining days and years comfortable ones. Chances are your parents will see your act of responsibility in regard to this and will eventually allow you the pet you desire. But remember, even that pet will go through the cycle of life and your responsibility will be it's care as long as it needs it.

[Heart of Sword]

I would agree with Rev. Doc EXCEPT for the fact that it's not your dog. It's the family's dog and is just as much their responsibility as it is yours. If it was your dog, and was getting old, that would be different. I suggest getting a cat, though, instead of a dog--cats are more "cuddly" than dogs are and love to be held. If you would like someone to talk to, get a dog (as cats sometimes pretend to ignore you).

I don't think it's wrong at all to get another pet. However, still spend time with the old dog because dogs are naturally pack animals and hate to be separated from family.

Sort of Off Topic: Actually, I would much rather have a dog than an "adorable puppy", Rev. Doc... (but I guess that's not the case with everyone)

[Rev. Doc]

I would agree with Rev. Doc EXCEPT for the fact that it's not your dog. It's the family's dog and is just as much their responsibility as it is yours.

But as part of this family Kokoro is not absolved from responsibility in caring for this pet. Stepping forward and taking on even more responsibility will certainly make an impression of one's ability to care for an animal for the long term. Regardless, it's the parents call if additional pets will be allowed in the home. I was just trying to give a parent's point of view that might facilitate the future addition.

[Debitt]

._. I already tried taking care of my dog. I pick up after him and give him his medication and feed him everyday....I'm not going to stop just because I can't have another pet either. I guess it's just not going to happen...

[Heart of Sword]

._. I already tried taking care of my dog. I pick up after him and give him his medication and feed him everyday....I'm not going to stop just because I can't have another pet either. I guess it's just not going to happen...

Well wouldn't another pet just add to the responsibility? Why don't you wait until...yeah I know, it's a morbid thought, but...why don't you wait until the older dog passes away before getting a new pet?

[PrincessZelda]

No, you're not bad. Pets are awesome!

I Have three cats. They're awesome. ^_^

[shooraijin]

Why won't your parents let you mail things to your friend?

[Raskle]

good question!

also--furry animals are good to keep you company. I haven't had a furry pet for a while... anyway. If you're up for the responsibility, I'd say ask again. maybe start small, though, like the hampster idea.

[Debitt]

Why won't your parents let you mail things to your friend?

Eh...money concerns. Usually I'd try to mail big packages with lots of presents and drawings for her...so they won't let me mail anymore. *sad Kokoro*

Right now a hamster's a no...I tried for a puppy before and I guess that may have been asking too much, but no hamster either. ._.

[Heart of Sword]

Okay, well cats require almost no care at all besides giving them food and water and checking out their litterboxes. They don't crave attention and will pretty much keep to themselves unless you want their love, then they'll shower you with it. I can't imagine myself without kitties...why don't you ask for one?

Oh, and if you like cute cuddly animals, cats are always cute and cuddly. ^_^

[Debitt]

...brother's allergic to cats. Parents hate cats - the first thing I'm doing when I move out is getting me a kitten. ><

[Heart of Sword]

Well you could get a Sphinx cat, they have no fur (but are still super cute). Why do your parents hate cats?

[EireWolf]

This is *slightly* off topic, but... I noticed a couple people said that cats are cuddly. Some cats are cuddly, yes. My mom's cat jumps into her lap every time she's at the computer, and won't leave her alone. However, some cats will scratch your eyes out if you try to pick them up. My cat will let me pick her up, but if I try to hold her for more than a few seconds, she squirms out of my arms. It really depends on the cat. They are fairly self-sufficient, though, for the most part. You have to feed them and give them fresh water, and clean up after them if they're indoor cats... but otherwise they aren't usually demanding.

If your parents are saying no... I would cool it for a while. Stop asking for a while, and like Rev Doc said, show that you can take more responsibility and care with the current family dog. Then, if you feel the time is right, you can maybe bring it up again. But don't push it. It is their house, and their decision.

Next time you do bring it up, maybe you should try asking for a low-profile pet, something that the rest of the family won't ever have to think about.

I don't think you're bad for wanting a pet. I'd love to have a pet, but our landlord doesn't allow them. (My cat lives with my parents for now.) So I'm waiting until we get a real house, and until then, I'm trying not to think about it.

[Mave]

I grew up having many pets, I don't see anything bad about wanting to have them.

My parents allowed me to handle the pets because they were around to help me. I can understand your parents for not wanting another pet. They do cost money and bring about additional chores.

To echo opinions of others, I support both the idea of 1) taking care of the old one 2) request a low profile pet

[Banana-chan]

well keep up hope and u will get what u want. Prove to ur parents not just by taking care of ur dog but maybe showing some other forms of responsibility

[Yojimbo]

I've grown up with dogs all my life. I couldn't imagine living without one. Like someone else said I'd not push the issue too much right now if it's making your parents angry. Give it some time and in the meantime you can prove to them you are responsible.