anyone bi polar/close to someone who is?

[Tenshi no Ai]

Well, I'm in need of tips or something with this. You see, my b/f has been diagnosed with it from years ago and apparently more in control than before, but still struggles some. I've always thought of it as someone who's hyper hyper hyper then crashes into a SUPER depression or something. Well, that is at least how it was sort of explained to my in psy class. Having experience from knowing someone with it is completely different. Now, I know theres different variations. With him, it's like flipping a coin sometimes and sometimes for a week he'll be down (and not just sad with the depression side, but angry too which I guess, goes along with it), and then sometimes like one day out of the week the coin will flip again and he'll be in an extremely good mood. With different things happening in his life though, it's no surprise that his not so great side pops up a little bit more, so it sure doesn't help :/

When I first started dating him, he had told me that he was but I couldn't tell the difference at first since he was moreso in his mania state. I thought that mood side was who he "truly" was. Slowly, he went the other way for a while. Took me a while until after a few episodes, I finally understood what was going on. And sometimes, it's not that easy, and probably all the more for him too. Apparently it's something extremely hard to control and when he's on his good side, wishes that things could be different. It's sometimes almost like there's 2 people inside of him, when in reality it's just 2 personalities taken to the extreme. Must be tough for him... Oh, and apparently medication doesn't work too great for him either. Apparently lithium can balance someone out so much, that they become a totally neutralized zombie-like state and that doesn't sound great :/ Others apparently also had not so great side effects so he stopped taking them.

Although I know he's like this, I'm not going to give up. Sometimes yeah I get down a little too since I can sway myself with people's emotions, but I can at least remember and trust the things he says when he's in his good mood. It almost seems like, it's more "him" when he's in that mood, sort of like the mood that is "deep down in his heart" sort of thing. Either way, I'm just hoping that I can help to the best I can to try and help balance him out with things. And although (after my post in the one topic) he isn't a Christian, I'll always be praying for him^^ God can still do amazing things, I know it^^

So all in all...

For those who are bi polar (if any): What's it like for you? Is it a little like explained above where it's extremely hard to control and all that? Would you say that there is one personality side that is more "yourself" than the other?

For those who know someone bi polar and know them well (if any): How do you try and deal with this? Any success if you've tried to help them out?

[PigtailsJazz]

I have bipolar (more accurately I have cyclothymia, otherwise known as bipolar 3....the mild kind), so I understand somewhat...especially the medicine making you a zombie sort of thing. I was on a mood stabilizer for long enough that I learned how it makes you completely lethargic, emotionless and unmotivated. I failed a class and bombed some auditions during that time. Now I'm on anti-depressants, which work much better because my main problem has been more the depression than the mania (more like hypo-mania in my case).

For me, having bipolar really doesn't make too much of a difference now because I've been on medication for the past 3 years. I feel normal. However, it's quite fun if you go into a hypomanic state...I mean you suddenly have energy and inspiration. A friend of mine is lending this book to me called States of Mind, which talks about past figures that possibly had bipolar, mostly composers and artists. It's amazing to see just how many compositions and artwork are created during the manic states as opposed to the normal and depressive states. Depressive states are the worst ever. I went through a major one last year (right around the time I found CAA, actually), and I really just didn't get up in the morning. I was able to just think 'I have bipolar, so eventually I'll get out of this and go into a hypomanic state or something' for hope of ever getting out of that state.

Anyway, I don't feel any mood is more my personality than the other. I'm a culmination of both moods...it wouldn't make sense to say that the me when I'm depressed isn't the same person as the me when I'm hyper happy....it's the same person, just feeling different and reacting to those feelings.

uhh...and I'm open to answer any other questions

[Seppuku]

Im not bi polar but i used to be highly disturbed. when i was little i was beaten on a regular basis by my brother and his friend. i was charged with atempted murder after cracking his skull open with a hockey stick. >< pushed me to far. God has made me a much kinder calmer person, that was my most obvious transformation.


i think god can work in your boyfriend too. also when he starts getting like that try to give him some space.

[mitsuki lover]

How do you know if a person is bipolar or simply has a bad temper?

[K. Ayato]

It's a cycle, genuis. You flip from being depressed to being untouchably high.

[Anna Mae]

A very dear friend of mine has bi-polar. Like PigtailsJazz said, I don't see one mood or the other as who he is; he is a combination of the two.

In relating to him, I have found that the best thing for me to do is continually love and accept him no matter what. He doesn't really like the medications either. When he's in a good mood, he is really nice and a lot of fun to be around. When he's down, he pushes people away and is judgemental. I have found that I have to continue pursuing him even when he pushes me away. In good times he has told me that he really appreciates that, and that that is one of the reasons he is friends with me.

No matter what, it is important to accept him as he is, and to always be there.

[Tenshi no Ai]

It's a cycle, genuis. You flip from being depressed to being untouchably high.

He was also clinically diagnosed by it, so they would probably know best. Plus being around him long enough, you could tell that it's not exactly a normal, regulated emotional cycle.

In relating to him, I have found that the best thing for me to do is continually love and accept him no matter what. He doesn't really like the medications either. When he's in a good mood, he is really nice and a lot of fun to be around. When he's down, he pushes people away and is judgemental. I have found that I have to continue pursuing him even when he pushes me away. In good times he has told me that he really appreciates that, and that that is one of the reasons he is friends with me.

No matter what, it is important to accept him as he is, and to always be there.

That's what I'll try my best to do^^ It is hard sometimes to be around him during the down stage because here there is more of a judgmental-pushing away state. I find it's best to have talks when he's in his better moods. He's more understanding in that mood, and he has in fact told me that he wishes he could be different and hopes it's not too much for me to handle. I've very tolerable and now that I recognized what's going on, I can understand better and expect different things.

Oh, I also noticed that on occasion there's a bit of a neutralized mood. I'd say it's the most normal where he can be both happy/slight hyper and a bit down/angry all in one day. Not so much a cycle but just more... balanced out, and one mood isn't any worse than the other.

[Ashley]

Tenshi, I understand at least in part what you're going through. While I have never dated anyone with this disorder, I have relatives who suffer from it. They are relatively old, and have paranoia in addition to bipolar. They also cycle on their meds--taking them til they feel good, then getting off them again.

To be honest, it's hard...really, really hard...to deal with them. But I have to remind myself that it's a disease like any other (I have a genetic disorder myself, so I can imagine rather nicely), and that they still deserve to be loved.

[Doubleshadow]

I had a friend with bipolar disorder. When I met her, she was on a high part: lively, chatty, and we discussed numerous things we had in common for hours. Later, she called me on the phone during a low point, and was only somewhat coherent and slightly irrational. When I told her about, she didn't remember and apologized, saying that happened sometimes. Eventually, she had to drop out of college because of it, although now she is trying to get certified as a beautician.
It helps that she's a Christian, but at that same time it makes it hard to know how to answer her when she's in a low and slurs out that she doesn't understand God's will for her and asks you what you think.
For her, it seemed that just being there for her, staying with her even when she's out of it and so confused she's scared and angry. Staying with her and taking her with us to eat, and just talking about her favorite things with her seemed to be the best thing to do. And I prayed for her and with her like she asked.

[Tenshi no Ai]

doesn't understand God's will for her and asks you what you think.
For her, it seemed that just being there for her, staying with her even when she's out of it and so confused she's scared and angry. Staying with her and taking her with us to eat, and just talking about her favorite things with her seemed to be the best thing to do.

Yeah, as I've said I try to be there for him every time I can, especially during the down times. Sometimes I especially get worried that he'll start smoking again... But I don't think that'll happen. Still, sometimes I know he'll be in a down enough mood to just give him some space and be on his own to calm down and mellow some... Sometimes I can see a bit of a difference when I'm just there for him and talk and stuff. Don't know what to say half the time really, but still, I try.

Tough it is, but I won't give up^^ Lucky me, I'm extremely tolerable^^

[K. Ayato]

Atta girl!