nOte: Not about politics although it may seem that way

[rocklobster]

My cousin is in an emotional crisis. She feels she doesn't belong in our family because her political views are so different from everyone else's. I've been trying to convince her that is not the case, but she keeps talking about wanting to move to places where her views will be accepted. (of course, she forgets that even in those places, there are people who won't accept her views)
Again, this is not a political thread and I want to keep it that way.

[Xeno]

Well what exactly are you hoping god would do? Make her just deal with what the rest of your family thinks or bring her around to your way of thinking? She may say family doesn't see the same as her on politics, but many times it goes further to the region in which she is located. It might be considerably red where she is at and she wants to move to where it is blue. And this would make sense, because while there would be some people who don't agree, the majority would see eye to eye with her whereas they currently don't where she is now.

Honestly there is nothing wrong with someone wanting to move away to a place where they feel more accepted. Be it for their political, artistic, or simple aesthetic choices. Of course family wants to keep them nearby, but you can't make them, and you shouldn't try to prevent someone from being happy and comfortable with themselves just for the sake of your own comfort.

[rocklobster]

Her problem is that she is so fixated on politics. It's like it's her god.

[Xeno]

A persons politics sometimes defines them though. The way they see the world and how things should be. And if someone is in a place where people largely have an opposing vision it can be very frustrating for them. It's very rarely just a case of you're X party and I'm Y party, and it's almost always you hold A, B, and C values while I hold D, E, and F values; and these value sets conflict either wholly or partially.

[goldenspines]

I personally don't think politics defines a person, but a person (their personality, emotions, experiences, demeanor, etc.) defines their politics; hence why people can change their views over time as they grow in life (not always, but it happens). This doesn't mean anyone can change your political views at a whim to match their environment, though. That would be like trying to change the fact the sky is blue. It can be a bit frustrating when the people in the environment around you firmly believe the sky is purple, yet you know it to be blue. It would be a relief to finally meet someone (or several someones) who also know the sky is blue.
(aka: I think me and Xeno agree, just on differing definitions of "define".)

My guess, Rock, is that your cousin is trying to find where she fits in the world with her views on life. Plus, depending on her age, she could just want independence to go out into the world on her own and is just using differing views as one of her many reasons.
I'll be praying for her and your family on whatever she decides to do. I'm sure things will work out. ^_^

[Zeldafan2]

Like Goldy and Xeno already said, I agree that politics doesn't define a person really. I come from a family where I and my extended family have VERY different political views, but aside from occasional debates, we get along just fine. The best way to convince her I think is to simply not compare herself to other family memebers merely by what their opinon is regarding politics, focus instead on trying to find other things you have in common with famliy members.

[K. Ayato]

Remind her that people don't make friends based on who votes for whom. I know I was frustrated or downright aggravated by all the political posts from friends on Facebook whom I care about a lot, but once everything died down, things were cool between us. I understand how people can be very passionate and defensive about things that are important to them, politics included, but it shouldn't leave you with severe tunnel vision to the point that the only way you look at anything or anyone is based on whether or not it supports a particular party.

My parents are die-hard regarding one party to the point where you're wasting time and breath trying to convince them otherwise. My sis and I don't pay much attention to debates or State of the Union addresses, let alone the candidates and propositions, and that's fine. Granted, my family isn't all politics all the time.

Simply put, I don't believe a political affiliation should define your cousin, rock, let alone the entire family. And I don't understand why your cousin is crazy about politics either. Still, I hope she realizes it's not the end of the world and doesn't do anything extreme like moving away JUST 'cause people don't share her views and opinions.

[Xeno]

But it's not crazy. When you feel very strongly about certain issues and friends and/or family marginalize you over it, or call you unAmerican, or a socialist, or a redneck, or whatever else it does make you want to go somewhere where people think the same. You might not think this is important, and kudos to you for not paying attention to national politics, but some people do in fact believe it is important to stay informed even outside of an election cycle.

I'm not sure if any of you have ever been told you're political ideas are what are going to ruin the nation. That if things go the way your party wants them to that America will utterly cease to exist, and the people saying these thing subsequently reject any refutation unless the "facts" come from a specific news network. It is enough to drive you mad if you care about political issues. And by political issue I mean the social and economic issues the country is facing.


Note: Thanks for pointing out what I meant Goldy.

[K. Ayato]

But as both you and rock pointed out, Xeno, there will always be people no matter where you are who hold strongly to an opposing view. Maybe they're the minority in one location, and maybe not in another. Still, you'll always find them sooner or later.

[Xeno]

But if they're the minority you do not have to deal with them in day to day life. Or even if you do, chances are quite high that there are others around that support your position more than theirs. It is uncomfortable to live in a place where the vast majority thinks you hate your own country just because your ideas about how people should be able to live and love, how education should be handled, and what women's rights with their own bodies are. If you went to work every day and were told that you were unAmerican because you don't support another war in the Middle East, or because you think cannabis should be legalized, or heaven forbid you feel that healthcare is a human right, wouldn't you feel like you were somewhat unwanted? Now amplify that from work to every person in the region in which you live, and it just gets worse. Moving to be in a place with more like minded people is not crazy, it helps to provide solace and growth in many cases.

[goldenspines]

Since this is a prayer thread, I think it would be best to take this kind of discussion to PM. ^_^