Not Sure What to Say

[steenajack]

Hrm.....well, idk if it's much of a prayer request. More of a worry or two I guess. Guess I'm sort of looking for a bit of council in this.

Well over the past year I've made some really good friends online. I even got to meet some of them not too long ago. My mom was very supportive because I was finally having friends. But now, after meeting my friends, I guess now she doesn't really consider them really...REAL friendships anymore per say. Don't get me wrong, she has a certain point. I think the physical aspect in any relationship is quite important, and if a friend of yours is far away you should try to do as many physical things as possible together: setting times for meeting, talking on the phone, video chats, voice chats...etc. Still, just because a relationship is long distance doesn't mean that it can be REAL. I consider it as any other relationship, just with different obsticles, and it can be a real relationship if done right.
I mean, it's not like mom is keeping m from these friendships, she just...doesn't seem to be encouraging them so much anymore. Which makes me sad. Cause, mom tries to support any close by relationships I have (which I've recently been getting), it's just I wish she'd encourage me to have friends in general. And encourage all my friendships. Now it's at a point where on the outside she's not really doing anything to keep me from my friends, I still feel judged by her at times. I just really feel bummed about it I guess. Cause she'll support me in anything else...so long as it's not on the computor and has anything to do with "wasting my time". Why can't she support me in this one area. A couple of my closest friends are on the net, they were my very first close friends in general. And for her not to support that just...really hurts me. At least...that's what it seems like anyway. There just doesn't seem to be an pleasing her these days. She and I have been a bit.....well, let's just say I'm going through a time in which I'm breaking away from her emotionally I guess. Which is normal for me to become a normal, grown-up person.....it's just kind of hard because I'm realizing things about my mom, and instead of seeing her as "the mother" I'm seeing her as a person. I still love her, but I'm just realizing that she's human and has certain character flaws. She and I are opposites, and we're alike in ways that irratate me to death. She can be so extreme, irrational, mean, and can come off as narcasistic (sp?).....and she KNOWS it. ......could you guys just pray that as I go through this time, it won't leave damaging scars on our relationship? I do love her, and wish I could have a relationship with her that's mostly functional. We've been mostly fine lately....I just, want to get this off my chest.....please pray for me.

Also, and even though I'm certain this is nothing, I once read one of those annoying "chain letters" on someone's DeviantArt profile. It was saying weird stuff about how if you do certain stuff and send it to a certain amount of people, you'll get your wishes granted. But if you don't, bad stuff will happen. It kinda freaked me out for some reason. Idk, I just got a bad feeling. I rebuked it in the name of Jesus and said aloud that the chain letter had no power over me, but for some reason I still felt that nervous feeling. Later that day, I had one of the craziest experiences of my life involving someone who stole my sister's backpack. I couldn't believe it was happening to me! Then today today, I got locked out of my house with no one home. I figured it was just a coincidence and all, but I still feel a bit fearful. Because nothing weird happened in the day in between. Anyway, could you guys pray for me about that as well? Even though I'm certain I'm just being paranoid.

[goldenspines]

I'll be praying, Steena.

I can relate to the "online friends aren't real friends" thing. While my parents didn't really discourage or encourage it, I struggled personally with it for a while when I first joined CAA. Can people be close over the internet as they can in person? I personally think so. But the only difference is that you have to work harder at it, like any long distance relationship since you don't meet and hang out in person constantly.

Oh, chain letters. XP They're kind of like fortune cookies, once you let them get to you, you start seeing them "come true", but mainly it's just the subconsciousness connecting circumstances together that would have happened anyways (unfortunately. But, I hope things with your sister's backpack got sorted out!).

[broly146]

I'll be praying too!

[steenajack]

I'll be praying, Steena.

I can relate to the "online friends aren't real friends" thing. While my parents didn't really discourage or encourage it, I struggled personally with it for a while when I first joined CAA. Can people be close over the internet as they can in person? I personally think so. But the only difference is that you have to work harder at it, like any long distance relationship since you don't meet and hang out in person constantly.

Thanks goldie. That's what I was thinking too. Guess I just needed some reassuring on it. Thank you.

Oh, chain letters. XP They're kind of like fortune cookies, once you let them get to you, you start seeing them "come true", but mainly it's just the subconsciousness connecting circumstances together that would have happened anyways (unfortunately. But, I hope things with your sister's backpack got sorted out!).

Again, you always seem to know just what to say. Thank you so much. Things actually did get sorted out with the backpack (interesting story actually, PM me if you want details). Except my sister didn't get all her stuff back. She's pretty upset about it since there was one VERY special thing inside there to her. It either fell off, or the guy dumped it somewhere with the books. And he's really no help at all with locating the stuff.


Oh, and thank you broly, very much.

[ABlipinTime]

I'll be praying, Steena.

I can relate to the "online friends aren't real friends" thing. While my parents didn't really discourage or encourage it, I struggled personally with it for a while when I first joined CAA. Can people be close over the internet as they can in person? I personally think so. But the only difference is that you have to work harder at it, like any long distance relationship since you don't meet and hang out in person constantly.

Hm... It really depends on the points of view of both individuals involved. Take you and me for example (I know, that's a really limited selection): Judging from your post, you seem to think that online relationships and physical-visible relations can be at an equal level (?). I don't see it that way - I see internet as keeping me anonymous such that, I'm not so much a person as I am a character (or rather, a set of characters on a screen). Yeah, I know, we're more than that, but even knowing that there is someone behind each post, I don't believe I really know anyone. People can be on the internet what they want. They say things that they want. They can come up with false presentations of themselves. Being here on a Christian forum, I doubt that's happened. But nevertheless, it is quite true that I can be someone different, or, conversely, share whatever unique and private/secret/embarrassing attributes about myself as are fitting without really suffering an social withdrawal (as in, "Oh, I kinda wish I hadn't said that.")

All that to say, it really depends on how each person sees the relationship. (And, as I may note, things like this can happen in physical relationships as well, like when you become in-laws.)

Pardon me, I'm sorry for all the skepticism. I do know that it is also true people are honest, even online (like I said, they may share more details about themselves). There's a good chance that people you talk to a lot on the internet will be equaling your effort in maintaining the relationship.

Regardless, I'll be praying for ya, Steena

[Furen]

I've struggled with this a lot recentlly, I'll be praying for you

in my oppinion, most of my really good friends are on CAA, and I'm maintaining many of them quite well, so though my family doesn't really agree with internet (for stalking purposes and whatnot) relationships, they don't mind.

[steenajack]

Thank you both.