CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Ok, I have a niece that's 13 yrs. old and a sister that's 15 yrs. old that are disrespectful and listens to music,watches music videos that most adults won't approve of. They would say things that I'm sensitive to (which I shouldn't be) and they will also say things that I should be offended by. I would argue with them when they are disrespecting me, teasing me using vulgar languages and I have a tendency to get mad and bring up those issues again and again. I know I have to chance first in order for them to respect me and that's the hardest part. I always had thing on my mind that I know is not that important and that's why it's hard. So please pray that I'll have a desire for god and that I'll accept jesus in my heart for me to be happy and be more mature to deal with my nieces,sisters(I have more than one sister and niece) nephew and others. I'll appreciate it,thanks.

Praying!!!
GOD BLESS YOU!!!

will be praying.....

I have teenager cousin as well, and frankly in my opinion teenager isn't as bad as younger kids, because at least you can reason with them, or maybe I never happen to stumble upon an unreasonable one at that age?

What I dislike most about kids isn't language, but lies. My youngest cousin would ask others to lie for him (such as he didn't cry today, or he finished his lunch even though he didn't, etc...) and everyone would just comply because they don't want him to make a fuss. But there isn't anything I can do beside saying remark here and there, which they seem to ignore. I can see the kid will grow up and be surprised at the real world that does not always goes his way.

As for your situation, perhaps you may try to promote better music? There are reasons why certain music lasts for century, whereas the "noise" we called music today would be forgotten in months.

As for languages which is a communication device, you would probably need to advice changes to the culture your nieces interact with, such as getting to know their friends and their reasons for talking like that. It could be peer pressure, or it could be a rebellion to formality.

Hmm. I'm not sure if this will work as well with teenagers as it does adults. If something offends you, people who are reasonable will usually respond to a gentle request to stop. That is, you need to not yell, but let them know that it really makes you uncomfortable to hear/see that behavior and would they please stop doing it around you as a courtesy. Don't spend time telling them it's wrong, immature, etc. (which it is) because teenagers are rebellious by nature. However, they also understand that "fitting in" is important, so basically you need to sell this like "I can't keep seeing you if you make be feel uncomfortable all the time".

You have to be forward, but not judgemental when you do this, so think about it first. When I was about 16 or 17, there was a girl in our high school band that was very openly conservative and Christian. Despite the fact that a bunch of us were not so Godly, we understood where she was coming from and avoided bad behavior around her. Thinking back, I remember her as pretty good looking too. I should have asked her out. Ah, the regrets of youth...

Thanks guys for your help. I do get angry when I don't need to be on certain issues,like not that long ago today, I was watching t.v. in my grandparent's room and my niece said why don't you watch the program in another room because I was watching the same thing as my grandma and I got mad throw the remote across the bed and left.Then I tried to apologize to her, but she didn't say anything,like she didn't accept it.I didn't yell or hit her,when I try to apologize to her,she never says anything.I think I need more prayer on my anger, it's not extreme angry,but still pray I don't get as angry over little things like this. p.s. I'm a young aunt in my early twenties.

Sometimes kids intentionally push the buttons of adults. I know in my life, that I did this sometimes to see where I stood with the adults in my life. That is to say, I was testing them - seeing if they would really love me, even when I acted unlovable. In essence, it was probing at their intentions, loyalties, and true feelings. On the other hand, I was asserting my "individuality" as well as having fun getting an overreaction out of people.

If I was shown other ways to assert my individuality (to do something besides just conform), and if I didn't get an overreaction out of people, I think it wouldn't have been as fun or desirable for me to intentionally misbehave.

Just be aware, that there could be much more going on under the surface with your niece and sister, but ultimately, they need to know every time you interact with them, that you love them. Once they are fully convinced of that fact, then and only then can you make any headway in persuading them of the merits of better behavior and manners.