CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

I can't take this anymore. For about a week now my faith has been in major pain. Various thoughts from satan keep entering my head and screwing with my mind. Things to make me doubt, ask for reasons to believe and all this junk I just don't want to think about. It's driving me mad!

I use to get comfort by praying to God or imagining doing things for Him or something, but now it's like I can't anymore. I use to also get really annoyed and funky feeling whenever doubts and stuff entered my head, but now it's like I don't anymore. I guess some people would say that's a good thing, at least then I can just ignore them and go on with life, but to me...it just feels wrong.

To think anything other than I love God and want to worship, honor and praise Him...it should bother me when evil thoughts try to make me think otherwise. Again, some people can say it's better that they don't (because then I can just pass them easily) but not only does it feel wrong, but that's how it's been for my whole life. For me to suddenly feel any different feels REALLY wrong. Like I don't believe anymore and that scares me.

What also bothers me is that it's like I don't care. I suppose others would say that's bull, a Christian who doesn't care wouldn't keep asking people to pray for them, nor would they keep having themselves read the Bible or pray, but...like I said, I just feel so distant. I use to get really connected with God and feel so close to Him, but now I don't. It's like I just want to break down and cry, at least then I'd know I care (as messed up as that sounds).

Either I can't eat, I do eat and it ends up in a bad way, or my chest begins to hurt really bad...almost like I'm getting a shock or something. I don't know what to do. I've talked to my parents so many times and constantly ask them and others to pray for me, but that's all there is now. I keep asking God to help me, but nothing is getting better...I know He's still with me, but I just feel so abandoned. I keep getting these thoughts like "you're an atheist" and stuff and, while I'm sure other Christians have had them put in their heads before, knowing that doesn't exactly make me feel any better.

I keep constantly reminding myself I do believe in Jesus Christ, partly as if to combat what satan is trying to get me to think, plus because the more you think of anyone (whether it God or a human) you do feel closer to them, but...gah.

I just really, really, really need prayers right now. I hate having to ask other people for help like this, I'd rather my own prayers work out so I can let people be, but I dunno...maybe I'm suppose to talk to people. Maybe the whole reason for this happening is so someone else hears it for whatever reason. God only knows what He's up to. ._. I just want to feel better, I miss that comforting feeling I use to have...

imo, you are supposed to ask other people. Were a family in Christ, and brothers and sisters support each other. Im going to be praying for you, but i also want to tell you, Satan is going to put doubt in your mind, especially where your most vulnerable. You need to remind yourself that you do believe in God, and you have faith, and that nothing is going to shake that. Satan likes to whisper to me that im no good, and that im a walking screw up, but in my heart i know thats not true at all, so i ignore him best i can. Also remember, satan is like any other bully, if you ignore him, he'll go away, he's ganna try like hell to bother you, and to make you trip, and he might be successful from time to time, but if you just learn how to ignore him, he'll leave you alone.

Have you talked to ANYONE about this? Pastor? Youth leader? Close friend? This is only my advice, so take it as you will, but maybe you could benefit from a counselor. I'll be honest and say that I myself have a Christian counselor and so far a lot of things are getting discussed which is painful in the process (no kidding there) but it helps in the end.

I would definitely suggest talking to other christians, too. Like what K. Ayato said, I would go to a pastor or a youth leader. Keeping yourself distant is something the devil enjoys. If you are all alone and full of doubt, you are much more venerable than being with some other christians.

Also, have you been reading the Bible? I know that when I was going through something similar to this, reading the Bible really helps. And you may say that it wont do anything or whatever, but the best thing is to push through it and try reading or praising. You may not feel anything when you start... but I suggest that you keep pushing through. I read a chapter of psalms, a chapter of john, and then i pray ephesians 1: 17.

Also, if you want, I would suggest reading Ephesians, also. It's a super short book, but its very encouraging.

Chin up! I'll pray for you. <3

Praying for you.

U definetly have my prayers......

Have you talked to ANYONE about this? Pastor? Youth leader? Close friend? This is only my advice, so take it as you will, but maybe you could benefit from a counselor. I'll be honest and say that I myself have a Christian counselor and so far a lot of things are getting discussed which is painful in the process (no kidding there) but it helps in the end.

Well I don't know about my pastor (he's the type who tends to apply HIS life to yours. Like "well this happened to me when I was young, so it'll happen EXACTLY THE SAME FOR YOU"), but I definitely talk to my parents in great detail. This morning I had a long talk with my mother (explaining how I felt, what she did in those situations, etc.) and while it didn't clear things up completely, the talks do help.

My parents may be a bit rough around the edges, but they're very strong Christians and always ready to talk to me. I know I always mention it to my boyfriend as well, and while he may not be big on words, he always says he'll pray for me and stuff. Heck, I'll even ask my grandparents to pray for me out of the blue, so it's not like I'm not asking for help at all. I just rather prefer to go to people close to me than total strangers. Mostly because my family knows my habits so they know what they're dealing with, plus as I said, I feel kind of like a bother to people I don't know.

Also, have you been reading the Bible? I know that when I was going through something similar to this, reading the Bible really helps. And you may say that it wont do anything or whatever, but the best thing is to push through it and try reading or praising. You may not feel anything when you start... but I suggest that you keep pushing through. I read a chapter of psalms, a chapter of john, and then i pray ephesians 1: 17.

Oh yes, I read my Bible everyday! ^^; Never stopped since I started.

But either way guys, thanks for the prayers. I'm trying to keep positive and focus on the things God wants me to.