CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

They've been slowly doing this ever since i married Micah, but this time *sigh*. basically my mother in law is flying us home to WA for a month for some family reunion stuff. well this month my mom has her birthday, so my mother in law was letting me stay with them a weekend so i could be with her...after i told them this, they made plans to go to CA, and alaska (free military flights). they leave for CA the day before i fly in, to finally spread my uncles ashes in Catalina (waited five years..what's another month?), and Alaska for the fun of it. They will be gone most of the time that i'm coming back. When i asked my mom about staying the weekend and being driven halfway to micah's house, my mom said something along the lines of her not wanting to be a burden on my family, and me not being a burden on them if they made plans. She then said to just mail her b-day gift to her. Oh yeah, they're also tired of company...i didn't think that it would matter. I'm their only child...now all i am is "company".

When i first married micah my mom told me that she knew i was going to abandon them, i told her i wasn't. but...the more i try to show them that i will be there the more they push. They've commented how we're not family anymore..so..i guess that's that. I tried, but, they just don't want me.

You've tried, hon. Don't blame yourself for what's come of it. If nothing else, you know you did the best you could. *Hugs*

I remember your other thread on this, Bakura-chan. I'm sorry to hear that things haven't improved between you and your parents. It's not your fault that they refuse to let go of their stubborness and just accept and love you for who you are. All you can do is let them know they you're open to them anytime they want to come back into your life, and if they don't, well, shake the dust off your feet and move on. It's their loss, not yours.

In my prayers,

Temmy

Wow... it's hard to believe that people can be stubborn about that sort of thing. The only child issue... is probably quite the opposite for me and I grow tired of being constantly smothered (although getting better now). To each their own set of issues, but I couldn't imagine... I'll be praying for you all with this ongoing issue...

Im sorry to hear that your family is taking your marriage and beginning of a new family as a personal attack.

Whenever my mother calls our house a lot, my wife always recites Gen 2:24 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

*Leave and Cleave*

While it does sound like your parents are being a bit dramatic with the whole "company" and abandon thing, in reality that is what marriage is. You can still care for family, but your priorities change to focus on your new family. Its not personal, its part of life.

Just curious, but were your parents and grandparents very close? Visit a lot?

This may also come from the mother-stepmother split. Its hard for any parent to think that they are not the only father/mother in their childs life. Especially if they think they are getting the short-end-of-the-stick.

My advice it sit down and talk with them. Listen to the way they feel and assure them that you love them no less despite not having the same involvement in eachothers lives.

I will be praying for all of you. ^_^

my grandparents always lived in the same house as us. before i was born my dad built an apartment onto their house so my paternal grandparents could be there. Then when we moved up to WA, my maternal grandfather was diagnosed with alzheimer's dimentia(sp?) and so he and my step grandma live in the apartment down below my parents house. my mom was closer to my dad's parents than her own...

my parents are mad cause i didn't want to live with them after getting married. they're mad that micah doesn't feel safe in their home. My mom's mad because the family i married into won't break her curse. =-= that's right...curse. and no matter how many times we sit down and talk things out, nothing gets done. =_= we've been trying to talk to them for over 2 years. all we got was condemnation, guilt trips, and closed ears. And my parents refuse to talk to Janet (my mother in law) or micah. they just can't stand them. yet...when i was dating micah, my mom said that she could see that it was God's plan for him and me to eb together. She keeps telling me that it was never about micah, but about the timing of the marriage. but the way they treat micah, says otherwise.