CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

She's been cutting herself for about as long as I've known her, on and off for the past four or five years. She tries to hide the scars, but I’ve seen them. Her parents know, and haven't done much about it.

She's been anorexic for about a year and half now, going borderline bulimic as well. We used to be able to trade and wear each other’s clothes, but she’s lost about 20 pounds since last fall, and is down to about 108. Physical beauty is a part of why she’s doing it, but she also has these ulcers in her stomach, because she worries so much, and refuses to eat if she’s worried. She’s been on pills for this for a while, but she’s stopped taking them.

Topping off all of this, she's Goth in every stereotypical sense, bi-sexual, enjoys bottling up all of her emotions, is drop dead Mexican-Spanish princess beautiful, and doesn’t understand that abusive isn’t just getting hit around physically by your boyfriend.

The situation is extremely complicated, if you haven’t guessed it yet, and there’s a lot more to it then what I alluded to right now, but that’s the basics. She’s getting worse.

in a note from her wrote:
ok.. i know i've said this before...
and i really mean it this time..

Will you please just ********** SHOOT ME ALREADY?!

why let a waste of muscle and skin continue walking around when i'm worth absolutely nothing? Just do it already.. you don't even have to give me a 1-2-3... just point, give me a second to smile and say thank you and pull the ********* trigger.

I promise.. I won't hold anything against you.

God made the two of us bump into each for a reason, I know. I'm a freaking magnet for girls that are self-destructive. But, gah, this situation is in need of some prayer now. She’s getting worse, and I’m worried about what might happen to her if I don’t/can’t say the exactly right thing to her. She’s said if before, and it petrifies me because I know she’s right, that I am the girl’s freaking lifeline, the only thing between her and doing something really, really, really stupid.


So, please, keep her in your prayers. I know I can save her if God just gives me the strength. I've done it before, and I need to do it again.

---- ------ ------
One other note; Amanda, my other friend who ODd last year, is doing fine when I last talked to her. She's in Florida; far, far, far away from Cody, thank God.

I've had friends like this, and yes i know what it feels like to be the only one they can give out their feelings to, the only one they feel they can trust, and the only one that's stopping them from doing something they've been trying to do. It's very hard because like you said if you don't say the perfect thing they could go over-board. But one tip, don't, don't, get too emotionally involved cause you end up a sobbing desperate heep yourself.

First of all whats causing this problem? nobody's suicidal for a reason. And just because they "hate their lives" isn't a reason, it's an excuse. Do u know yourself fully why she's depressed?

There's two ways you can stop a person from killing them selves or at least appreciate their lives enough so they'll seriously take a look at what they're doing and change it. the first on (which i don't recommend, seriously) is scarring them out of suicide. this doesn't work because they probably won't care cause they WANT to die right? so this is what i do. I try and go through their lives myself, in my mind. I figure out what's troubling them, and hownto get them away from it. just like u said what was bothering amanda was cody, and she's away from him now.

But sometimes there's nothing you can do. My friend Curtis, which is th friend i've been referring to, is very... defensive. if some1 says something bad to him he'll lash out right back and there'll be a full blown fight right at ur feet. but I usually stick with him so if he ever tries to get into a fight (that's what his problem was he kept arguing, cheese and rice, with EVERYONE! so as a result he barely had any friends at all except for the ones that understood why he did these things) I can stop it and get him away. When he's really bad he'lll go up to all of his friends, say something so mean and nasty to them that u'd just want to kik his a--, and try and have no friends. he'd depress himself more and more untill he'd try something crazy. except when he'd try to lose me as a friend, i'd simply smile and say "that's nice" and he'd look puzzled, as if he was thinking, "he still likes me?"

Anyways like i said, it's usually actions that can save your friend, not much words. so if you can figure out why she's so suicidal, confront her, let her cry if she has to, just let her tell you her problem so she's not so stressed. that's probably why she's worse though, cause she won't let out some of the stress. tell her that if she simply told you everything, that she might feel better a bit and be able to solve her problem.

that's all i can say, but I'm praying for you and your friend, I'm praying you'll have wisdom and know what to say and do when the time comes, and I'm praying that your friend will stay strong.

jsut remember it is God that works trust Him...He has not stuck you in the situation without the strenght that you need submit to Him ans HIs will i will be praying.

I pray that you will find the strength that you need in this situation to help your friend.

Wow, that is a problem. Since i don't have much experience in these kind of situation i'll just leave it up to the experts. But I really hope your friend gets the help she needs. I'll pray for her and her parents to do something. Just keep reminding her that she is beautiful the way she is and she's not a waste of space. God loves her and hopefully she will see that one day. I'll pray that she finds God. God can make almost impossible situtations work out in the end. Just keep praying, i'll do the same.

I will pray.

You should not have to bear the burden alone. Is there an adult you can trust to talk to about this? A teacher or pastor? Someone who knows her and can do something about it if need be? I would talk to them.

Wow, I'll definitely pray for you and your friend. Just keep trusting God; He'll help both of you through this trial.

I'll pray.

I would tell her that God loves her so much that he sent his only son to die for her so that she wouldn't have to feel this way alone. You can tell her that you love her as well and that God--and you--will always be there for her. You can tell her that the way out is not death, that death will only lead to even harsher problems (I don't know if you should mention hell or not in this case), but that the way out is through Christ, who is waiting for her with open arms.

My pastor gave us a some what length lecture about the ways to help someone who's threatening suicide. These were some of the hightlights of his comments:

First, take comfort in the fact that a big percentage of people who advertise a desire to kill themselves don't ever do it, and of those who attempt suidice an even more minute percentage actually succeed. I know this sounds dumb, but it helped me to calm down a little when handling a friend of mine who spoke in a way similar to your friend.

As far as how to help them, the best thing to do is keep them focused on the future. Plan something to do with her a few weeks from now. See a movie. Go to the mall. Just give her some future event to work towards. Also, make promises (and keep them) such as "I'll call you tommorrow when you get back from school." Then, not only are you giving her a future goal, you're also putting her focus on someone other than herself.

Whether she realizes it or not, suicide is a desperately selfish act. It is the elimination of your own pain without for regard for the pain you and heaping on others. And in this case, it's disregard for the pain she's leveling on you. For that, I'm sorry, Leh.

I hope I'm not coming across as harsh. I have had to deal with a few deeply depressed friends, so I understand what a precariously difficult situation it is. I'll be praying for you!

Whether she realizes it or not, suicide is a desperately selfish act. It is the elimination of your own pain without for regard for the pain you and heaping on others. And in this case, it's disregard for the pain she's leveling on you. For that, I'm sorry, Leh.

Sound like a quote from Vash the Stampede. But in all seriousness I would have to agree with Mangafanatic. I'll continue to pray for your friend, hopefully she can get the help she needs.
Just curious, how old is she and how long have you known her? Because that may need to be taken into consideration when trying to get help. LIke finding someone she can relate to. I pray she can get help as soon as possible. Keep praying.

I'll pray for her and that God will guide you in witnessing to her.

The thing is, with her, if you bring up cutting she'll stress out and over think it, get depressed and do it as a release. You've gotta do these tedious little baby steps to get her to break out of her shell without pushing her over the edge (hence why I haven’t been able to post here).
She's not eating much lately, but I'd rather have her eat a handful of gummi bears a day then go home and slice her wrist up.
From experience, I know if she's been cutting (i.e. wearing a leather strap bracelet over where she cuts, body language etc), but she hasn't shown any of the usual signs. She's just extremely depressed lately, and has a habit of cutting as a release. I’m keeping a eye on her because I’d rather be safe then sorry.

rogie-san wrote:I'll pray for her and that God will guide you in witnessing to her.

I've been trying to bring up the subject since she told me that she was bi two years ago. It’s hard to come to terms with a God who she thinks is going to turn her away because of the way she feels about people of the same sex.

I understand. I think that your continued devotion as her friend can be a witness in and of itself. I'll continue to pray, and keep us updated when you can.

Suicide is NOT a

I know the feeling from both sides of the picture. I'll pray fo her.

Volt wrote:Just go out to a park with her, someplace relaxing, peaceful... oh wait if she's bi- then you might want to be carefull...

She knows better then to even think twice about me in that way, so no worries.

I'll let her speak for herself

her in her lj wrote:OK. so.. i've made a decision..
and i think that with this decision...
once all this chaos is done and over with..
...eventually things will work out.

i hope anyway.

but now i'm going up north to rock out and party and whatever else my tiny little heart desires.

thanks again you guys <3

It sounds like things are starting to look up. I'm glad.

I'll pray for your friend and you. May God reveal what His will is in this matter and lead you both all the way.