College/Life

[Makachop^^128]

So I've been looking at colleges to go to and I'm not excited at all....my friends and everyone around me are excited to go and have a plan and everything. I just feel lost without any direction. I know I want to go to a christian college, and I am pretty sure I want to go into writing (in the past I was planning on going into counseling, but I take on other peoples emotions so I don't think I'd be healthy for me) I have one college that looks interesting near by, but I'm not excited at all. There's another one that looks better to me but its in Canada and pretty far away. Anyway please pray that in time God will give me direction in what I should study and what college to go to or none at all.

One another note, I have been having worse problems with anxiety and depression, I went to the movie theatre and had probably the worst anxiety attack I've had, I'd like to get this under control before I go on and move out, but it's not looking so promising. Anyway it'd be nice to have some prayer, thanks

[ClosetOtaku]

Prayer. And a little encouragement.

I think not going to college (that is, delaying a year or two) is perfectly fine. In this day and age I know that *sounds* nuts, but I have known plenty of students (at every level -- bachelor's, master's, doctoral) who spent a year or two of time (and money) only to find they weren't ready, or didn't really know what they wanted. In the end, quite a few of them dropped out without completing their degree. Some went back, eventually. Others never did.

If you can differentiate between "not being excited" and "being fearful" -- two different things -- then "not being excited" may be an indication that you may wish to wait. Only you can determine whether that means you will be able to attend in a couple years -- it is much harder to go to school when working a full-time job -- these factors should go into your decision-making.

Anyways, I will pray for your decision and the other issues you mentioned. Don't feel overly pressured to go; at the same time, soberly assess what your personal goals are and how a delay might affect them, and then plan accordingly.

[Xeno]

^pretty much what he said. I too was wondering as I read your post what you meant by not being excited. It's okay to be afraid of change, but ultimately you do have to face that change head on and accept it. If you really just aren't excited, well there are a lot of things I'm not excited about that I still do on a day to day basis.

Is there a particular reason you want to attend a Christian college over another, standard, university? I know that a great deal of Christian colleges (but that's not to say all) charge more that regular universities for the same course work, and them might not even be accredited. I'm not trying to tell you that you can't or shouldn't go to one of these, but I'm just curious as to the reasoning behind it.

And as far as your friends moving along and being happy with their college choices, well that's what they're showing you. For all you know they could be a complete wreck on the inside knowing that soon they're going to be in a completely different setting that they've unfamiliar with. Some people hide their nervousness better than others. Ultimately though, I think you'll be okay; your posts have shown time and time again that you're pretty good at bouncing back from things. Hope all goes well for you.

[Makachop^^128]

Is there a particular reason you want to attend a Christian college over another, standard, university? I know that a great deal of Christian colleges (but that's not to say all) charge more that regular universities for the same course work, and them might not even be accredited. I'm not trying to tell you that you can't or shouldn't go to one of these, but I'm just curious as to the reasoning behind it.

I've never had a christian community I was in at all, I know one christian my age, and that is my ex haha. I just always wanted that community so I could grow and have fellow Christians to talk to about spiritual things, I've never had that so I wanted to have that in college.


Personally if I had my way I'd work for about three years and travel a bit before going to college because I'm not sure what I want to do or where to go. Sadly though the only scholarship I have requires that you go to college the next fall after highschool, and because I have pretty much no money saved for college and have none from my parents it is the only option that will let me go to college at all. It will also require that I don't take breaks from college longer then a term. So I feel really pressured to make a decision now.

When I say "not excited" I just don't feel like anticipation that my friends are feeling I am thinking "Well sounds like just more school to me" I'm sure though if I had a writing class that was good I'd be excited for that, just not feeling too hyped about it all right now. Anyway just feel super pressured to make a decision now. and I'm feeling no direction haha.

[Okami]

I've never had a christian community I was in at all, I know one christian my age, and that is my ex haha. I just always wanted that community so I could grow and have fellow Christians to talk to about spiritual things, I've never had that so I wanted to have that in college.

Coming from a small, accredited, Christian college I can tell you first-hand that if you want true Christian community and growth at a Christian college, more than likely you will have to fight and forge and work to have it. I've been blessed to have an amazing mentor, a few constant encouragers in my peer group, and professors who aren't afraid of being real where I'm at, but I've also made some poor choices along the road that have compromised my Christian character. None of this is to scare you away from it; if it's your heart's desire to find a home at a Christian college, go for it! I've just seen first-hand in myself and those around me an environment that is far less-than Christ-like. But never be afraid to fight for the Kingdom!

I'll be praying you come to a place where your mind is set on what God has for you.

[Makachop^^128]

Coming from a small, accredited, Christian college I can tell you first-hand that if you want true Christian community and growth at a Christian college, more than likely you will have to fight and forge and work to have it. I've been blessed to have an amazing mentor, a few constant encouragers in my peer group, and professors who aren't afraid of being real where I'm at, but I've also made some poor choices along the road that have compromised my Christian character. None of this is to scare you away from it; if it's your heart's desire to find a home at a Christian college, go for it! I've just seen first-hand in myself and those around me an environment that is far less-than Christ-like. But never be afraid to fight for the Kingdom! :

Yeah, I'll admit this is one of my fears, I have tried every youth group around were I live, gone to every church and tried the clubs and prayer, bible study groups and I haven't met one person from them that open to me, and many of them were kids that cause much drama, and many of them were bullies. So I'm worried that it will just be the same as were I'm at now, but its the only other thing that I have yet to try. So I'm hoping that it will be different.

[Okami]

Yeah, I'll admit this is one of my fears, I have tried every youth group around were I live, gone to every church and tried the clubs and prayer, bible study groups and I haven't met one person from them that open to me, and many of them were kids that cause much drama, and many of them were bullies. So I'm worried that it will just be the same as were I'm at now, but its the only other thing that I have yet to try. So I'm hoping that it will be different.

Without a doubt there'll be drama of some sort - but of course, that's anywhere that you go. Some things you learn to deal with, or don't get involved in. Other things, you fight for. When I've been in a good place at my college, I've fought for the encouragement of others, fought for the prevention of self-harm (since my freshman year, approximately 5% of the college has dealt with it in some form), among other things. You get to decide what's worth it, in the end. You find your niche for the Kingdom and water the seeds, y'know?

[Vega]

Well, I went to a christian college this past semester as a freshman looking for the whole christian community thing too. It was pretty horrible though. Being completely encased in a "christian atmosphere" in upper education isn't always a great thing. It isn't for everyone. So all i'm saying is not that you shouldn't go for christian college but don't close off your options because college can be the most fun and exciting years of ones life so you wouldn't want to spend that somewhere you don't like.

[Makachop^^128]

Yeah , it might be good to widen my search. Since I have looked at colleges I've decided more of what I want to do in the future, which is writing. I don't see much christian colleges that focus on that (other then one in Canada which I couldn't use my scholarship at) So I might widen it. Maybe find a college near a good church or something didn't actually think of that option haha.

[DaughterOfZion]

When you say you want to write in the future, what do you mean exactly? Journalism, technical writing, creative writing, something else? Since money is tight for you, nothing sounds more disastrous than going into debt for a degree that can never get you employed. Writing is often regarded as one of the most useless degrees you can have, other than some obscure philosophy major.

Also, I know it's regarded as rude to ask about money, but what sort of scholarship are you talking about? What portion of your semesters will it pay for?

[Makachop^^128]

Creative writing for sure haha, I right short stories, poetry, and would like to try a novel one of these days.

Well I get Fasfa which will pay for part of the schooling and this Scholarship pays for the rest, so if I got it right (I might have miss heard it) It will be mostly payed.

[anlptgtsg]

Praying.

If you are not so sure what course to take in college, try to see courses that you might like and research about the jobs they can provide. If the job interest you then go for it. You might want to see the monetary gain in those jobs too. I want to say you should go to the best possible for you, in terms of education that will help you find a job easier. Christian school does not mean Christian students anyways (Not sure of the ratio of Christians and non Christians though). Don't stop praying.

I've never had a christian community I was in at all, I know one christian my age, and that is my ex haha. I just always wanted that community so I could grow and have fellow Christians to talk to about spiritual things, I've never had that so I wanted to have that in college.

Maybe a bible course like theology can satisfy these.

[Sheenar]

I found a great community of other believers and really grew in my walk with Christ at the state university I went to. There are on-campus ministries on many college campuses and many churches in college communities who really reach out to college students. College is where I learned who I am in Christ, how to serve, what true fellowship is, and to love the Word of God. It was definitely a HUGE growing experience for me spiritually while I was there doing my studies.
So definitely explore all of your options. Pray. Write down pros and cons of each choice. Narrow down the choices. Good luck!

[Makachop^^128]

Thats a good idea thanks ^.^ I talked to my brother also about it and he says he would go to christian college, he went to one also. He says I just need to remember that my focus should be learning and growing in Christ, rather then just getting friends, which I totally agree, but I needa work on that before I go. I've always had a want for good friends, sadly I've only had one good friend (outside of the family) so not focusing on it too much is a struggle for me.

I think I'm going to visit one of the colleges soon, NorthWest university, and see also what churches are in that area. The good thing about this college is you don't have to share a room! I'm a introvert and get anxiety if I'm around people all the time, so this is great. They have single dorms I have also heard they are a pretty strong christian college but I'm still looking around for sure.

[Makachop^^128]

Update: Aside from college stuff, I'd really like prayer for my health physically emotionally and spiritually, I've been really struggling, being sick with strep, stomach flu and everything else right after another. It's been lasting a month and its getting really wearing on me emotionally. Also as some of you might now I have a lot of health problems, I found out a few months ago that I am very toxic in Mercury and something else that I forgot...well I just started a detox that takes out heavy metal toxicity. I really hope it helps me because I've pretty much tried everything, but I hear its really intense and can make you feel pretty bad while you do it. Emotionally I don't want anything anymore or to do anything, all my desire has kinda vanished. Spiritually I feel like there is a wall between Me and God when I pray to him, and I am not sure why. Anyway please pray for me, I'm kinda loosing it haha.

[Atria35]

Whoa... Praying! Yes, certain detoxes can be very hard on the body - but you will definitely feel better in the long run. Good luck!

[Sheenar]

Good luck! I pray that you feel better soon!