"Where I'm Supposed To Be"

[shooraijin]

Here's my little PTL for the day.

I'm off internal medicine (phew) and on orthopaedic surgery, which is a bit more congenial (resident duty is typically light). I was on call tonight, which is nothing like internal medicine call -- I do a few cases with the attending surgeon and the PA-on-call, and then when that's done, usually nothing else happens -- and we had two hip fractures that had to be surgically repaired, one by simply putting in screws and a plate (intertrochanteric) and another that required a hemi-replacement of the hip (the femoral neck was fractured, so the head was excised from the acetabulum, the femur was drilled down, and the femoral neck and head replaced with a metal prosthesis).

I haven't done any ortho since med school, and it was really nice to be in the operating room for a change. The hours just flew.

The PTL was, when I was driving back to the apartment, realising that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I want to have some variety in my profession, and I'm getting it, and I realised God put me here because He knew I needed it, too. Even though it was an 8:30am to 11pm day, I felt good about it because I knew God was watching over me. And he was watching over me in IM, too, even though I had to get up at 3am every day.

It's nice to know that despite the clouds, God really is there, and things really do turn out all right.

[Mithrandir]

Be who you need to be. Where you need to be. (And give Dr. Pepper freely to those who need it.)

-- KMM

[Gypsy]

It's nice to know that despite the clouds, God really is there, and things really do turn out all right.

Amen to that.

[shooraijin]

Definitely.

[Ashley]

You know, I really struggled with this idea of "where I'm supposed to be" lately. I know I'm young...half of you'd never guess how old I really am...but I feel a strong desire to get up and get on with my life. I have no idea where to go to college, and I only have wistful thinking for what kind of future lays ahead for me. Couple this with a faltering prayer life and a very poor at best spiritual walk, and you've got a serious problem. I felt so far away from God these last few days...it's something I struggle so hard with. This is getting into my testimony a bit, but I grew up in a christian household. "Right" was never something I really struggled with, as vain as that sounds. It was just something I always knew; just like I knew exactly the right answers to say in church. And because of it, I don't feel as pin-prick sensitive to the spirit sometimes...I don't feel a surge of growth or a thirst or anything like that near like I feel like I should.
But mom and I talked a lot tonight. I had been watching something I knew was a bit...dirty...but had shrugged off anyway (horrible habit, I know) and then I felt it. That sinking feeling that told me it was wrong and I knew it. I turned off the dvd and went to mom. And basically regurgitated everything I just told you.
What she said next I'll cling to for a while: "sweetheart, this is where you're supposed to be for right now. You're just on a plateau, that's all, so enjoy it. Enjoy that you're not suffering in a valley, and that you dont' have to worry. Answers will come in time. The reason you don't feel things like you think you should is just God saying you're smack where He wants you to be."

I guess it felt good to know that even if it was a rebuttal, I was still sensitive to the presence of the Lord. For a while there, I was really beginning to worry. And I guess, for the moment at least, I can breathe a little easier. I still have no answers, and still feel very, very weak, but like mom said,
"In my weakness His strength is made perfect"

Just wanted to share.

[shooraijin]

I've been getting quite a few rebukes on a spiritual level lately myself. I think it's a *good* sign, as well.