Quite long rantish post:
So, today was rough. I met with my Finance prof and found out that, although I'm making As on my homework/participation/the presentation I did last week, my exams have really hurt me and I have a C in the class currently. He said there's still time to bring it up to the minimum requirement of a B --the only 2 grades we have left are our 3rd exam on the 29th and then our final. So I have to make a high B or A on both of those, pretty much.
My big issue with the Finance (Capital Management in Ag Business) class is that I understand the material when I meet with the prof and during class for the most part, but when I take the exam, I make lots of stupid little mistakes in my calculations --and all those little deductions add up. And I have difficulty recalling the steps to a few of the procedures (need to do a better job of writing up the sheet that we can use during the exam). I really am disliking this class, though my prof is excellent and the subject matter is interesting. I just hate that my test anxiety (that tends to crop up with mathematics-intensive courses) keeps cropping up --I wish I could tell it to go away so I can focus on what I'm doing instead of being afraid I won't finish in time and getting worried because others are finishing before me --and making dumb mistakes.
I'm doing well in my Equine Nutrition class --made a B on the last exam and have done well on other assignments.
And then I met with my committee chair and found out that I did not pass my comprehensive exam. My committee felt that I did not elaborate enough on my answers (I'll admit that, due to fatigue and being just plain burnt-out with school, that I did pretty much the bare minimum on that front.) But they talked to the dept. head and I get to retake my comprehensive exam in 2 weeks (the weekend of Dec. 3) --if I pass that, then I'll get to graduate with my M.S. in December.
So I really have to buckle down these last few weeks of the semester to pull this off and graduate. I don't have another semester of school in me --I can't take anymore. So I have to finish.
After I had my meetings, I took Leon to the tennis court to play for 20 min. Then we drove home. I cooked myself some food (I hadn't eaten all day and it was now near 5 pm). Then went and laid down to watch some show on the computer.
Reading technical jargon when I am so fatigued that my brain is stalling is really an exercise in futility.
I admit that I am burnt out (or very close). I've been in and out of the ER all semester, had one 3 day hospital stay and have had new health problems crop up as well as progression of ones that I already had.
I do not feel well so much of the time. I am trying --I am just so exhausted --physically and mentally. I don't know how much more I can take.
I want to finish what I started (my degree) even though it is not likely that I will wind up being able to use it (working just part-time on campus --4 hours a week--zaps me) --I want to try, at least. Even though I sometimes wonder what the point is. I've accumulated all this debt to get a professional degree --once I get it, then what? Why didn't I just stop with my B.S.?
Anyway, so yeah, if I'm not around much, it's because I'm pushing myself to try to successfully finish this semester. I just want it to be over already. Just need to hang in there for 3 1/2 more weeks.
TL:DR --I am so very tired of school. I want to be DONE. I need prayer because I am very, very close to complete tail-spinning burn out.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
