I just want to be left ALONE

[Riggidig]

For the last couple of weeks/months I have just not wanted to have people be around me. At work I'm annoyed when clients come in to talk to me (I barely greet them with a smile), I don't contact my friends anymore (online as well as offline), I don't go to church or church meetings anymore. All I basically want to do every day is go home and be alone in my room. I feel very unbalanced, meaning I just react to the slightest bad thing that happens eg. I've broken 2 mobile phones (snapped them completely in half) during the last 6 months during fits of rage where I just SNAPPED. I struggle to make it through the day. I'm almost afraid to go outside, because I'm afraid something/someone is going to trigger something in me (the other day I SO wanted to slap a client through the face, basically just break the glasses on their face) when they told me they weren't happy with a large house plan I made a copy of for them. I had to clench my teeth, fists and even my TOES in order for me to stay calm, but I cannot communicate when I get like this, because all I feel is RAGE when I get like that. At home it's not much better. It seems like nearly everything my mom tells me instantly ticks me off, ending in me going into my room and being there alone for the remainder of the evening. She's even mentioned several times during the last couple of months how unbearable I make it living in the same house as her.

I'm not really sure if I DO or DON'T want to be around people. Yesterday I felt really down, because there was basically no one I could think of to contact. But then again I thought that I DON'T want to have anyone around me when I feel like that, so I just went on with the rest of my day. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

Just wanted to get that off my chest.

[MrKrillz0r]

I'm sorry to hear that man, I've had somewhat the same problems recently but not as extreme. I pray that you will get past this anger. I think praying and reading the bible would be a good idea to calm you down, and ask Jesus to put away that anger you feel.

[Radical Dreamer]

Have you considered counseling of any kind? Going to see a therapist to help you work through some of your anger may be helpful to you.

[Okami]

I would second RD. Counseling coupled with devotional time might be a way to ease out of this anger. I wouldn't expect for it to suddenly change overnight, but with time and self-patience, disciplining yourself and maintaining/regaining healthy contact with friends and family, you can start moving forward again.

Shall be praying. You're not alone in terms of anger experiences.

[Wrave]

I really do know how you feel. I"m battling a very similar problems.
...Praying.....