I'm getting tired of this!

[Arya Raiin]

Alright then... this may be a little long.

About a month and a half ago I found out my mom has a rare form of pancreatic cancer that has spread to her liver. She's got anywhere from 1-15 years. We have no idea because it's a cancer that no one has studied much. She's been entered into a clinical trial to hopefully slow down the cancer. I managed to accept this. Jesus Christ is her Lord, so my family knows where she's going. I'm alright with this.

My parents want to enroll me in a christian private school with a very high tuition. It's a great school, but the tuition is putting a stress on our family. Due to the circumstances the school board has decided to let me attend this last quarter of the year. There isn't going to be much of a cost. However, no body ever asked me if I actually want to do this. I'm willing to try it, but I'm not sure if I actually want to go for 10th grade.

Two days ago my parents finally crack under the stress and exchange some mean words. My mom leaves the house to stay with some friends. She's in contact with me, but I'm not sure when she'll be back. My dad is tired of everything. He's finally snapping under the stress of dealing with mom's cancer and attitude. I'm left standing in the ruins of their relationship.

This morning in church I was about to cry. I don't really have many people I feel I can share my pain to. I can't keep it bottled up thought. I meant to share with my youth pastor tonight, but I didn't get a chance with him alone and I didn't want to bring everyone else down. I know God hasn't... but I feel like He has abandoned me too. My dad is still being nice to me, and so is my mom. It's a kind of fake "we'll all be okay" that they're expressing. It just make everything hurt more. I don't want to cry thought; at least not now, and definitely not in front of my parents. Divorce has been considered but there are no decisions yet. All I can do is wait. I don't know what I can do now. Please pray for me.

[Ella Edric]

I'll definately be praying for you girl. <3 I love ya! PM me anytime you need someone!

[Atria35]

Definitely praying.

If you're really worried about the expense, try doing some research on the local public schools, or ones that have a lower cost. Sit your parents down and say that you aren't sure whether you want to go to that expensive school. If you're being homeschooled right now, well, homeschooling has a whole lot of stress on the parents, too, so they might want to know that you're getting a quality education while taking the stress off of having to come up with lesson plans in addition to all the cancer stuff.

[Nate]

I hope I don't seem I'm being rude or anything, but...

It's a kind of fake "we'll all be okay" that they're expressing.

Regardless of your feelings, your mom and dad might actually be okay with this. If there's stress, and tension, and hard feelings between them (which I don't know if there are or not, obviously I don't know them) then being apart like this might actually be good. They might actually be better now than they were when they were together.

Of course, again, that's regardless of your feelings. This obviously hurts you very much, and it's understandable. But it isn't "fake" just because you are hurt by it, they may actually be hurting more if they stayed together (again, just theoretical as I don't know if they actually would be). My point is if this actually is the case, there's no scenario that doesn't end up with someone hurting. Either they'll be okay and you'll be hurting, or you'll be okay and they'll be hurting. It's a lose-lose situation if that's the case.

So I'll pray for you, because I don't know what they're feeling, but you might have to accept that this could possibly be for the best. It may not seem that way, but if they really don't care about each other anymore, then being together is bad for them, and it's just a burden you'll have to bear. But we can pray that the burden will be lightened if (and again, IF) that's the case.

[ABlipinTime]

praying for ya, Arya

[steenajack]

Will be praying too.

[Nami]

I'm praying for you Arya. *hugs*

[TheMewster]

Prayed for ya sister. You need a hug !

[Arya Raiin]

Update:

Okay, my mom and dad made peace a few days ago and she is staying at our house. They seem to be doing better. My dad has made a change for the better. My dad and I have decide the medicine she is being treated with has made her punchy. We'll just have to keep that in mind when we talk to her, Regardles the attempts to avoid pushing her buttons she still ranted at me this morning about the fact that I'm planning on buying a laptop with my own money. Oh well. Thank you for the prayers!

[ABlipinTime]

Glad to hear things are doing better.
I'll keep praying for you