An ongoing situation.

[Spirit_Wolf8356]

This is an ongoing situation that I fear may have bad results.

I want to go away to college. I mean away away. I want to one-way plane ride out of state away. At least for a little while. I don't plan on dropping out of my family's life or anything. It's just always been something I wanna do. Go away to college, become a vet, and quite possibly travel and see the world. I know the chances of this happening will narrow if I don't go almost right after high school. But my parents want me to go to the communtity college for a year. I have nothing against the place, other than the fact it is here and about 20 minutes from my house. This has become somewhat of a constant battle between myself and my parents. And I hate to even think about doing this, but I can legally run away when I am 18. I don't want to, but if forced to, I will, if I feel like that's the way God wants me to go. I'm praying about this myself, I just thought I'd ask you guys for prayers too. I'm not exactly sure how to deal with this either. I've tried talking to my parents about it, but it seems like they don't take me seriously when I tell them all the things I want to do with my life. I'm not dumb enough to believe I will get done every single thing I want to get done, but I'm not going to sit on my butt and let opportunities go either. I think what they think will happen is I'll go to the community college, get married, and live 5 minutes away from them for the rest of my life. (My dad's entire family live 5 [my family] to about 30 minutes away from my grandmother. I understand loving your mother, but when you make it a point to visit her twice a week, but visit my other grandmother [mom's mom] only twice a year, it tends to make me a little...not angry, but not happy either.) I don't want to get stuck here like the rest of my family is. There's almost 100 immediate family members on my dad's side. Less than half are younger than me. Only 1 has gone to college and he's two years older than me and going to the community college. He lazes off his parents for everything. I just don't want to live out my life without seeing somewhere off of the East Coast. (I haven't gone to any state off the coast. Never. I am sheltered. I hate it.) *takes deep breath and sighs* Now I went and got myself all worked up. *half smile* If anyone has any advice on how to possibly handle this situation, I'd really appreciate it, along with prayers.

....sorry for ranting like that....I shouldn't have.

[SManBeyond]

I'll be praying for you. As a person with high career amibitions, I can sympathize and wish you all the best. I was blessed to have parents who didn't try to squelch my ambitions and who were willing to let me go to college far away from them (well, my Mom was unwilling at first, but eventually she realized this was where I felt God was calling me to go), so I can only imagine what you're going through.

Please find a godly Christian adult who can serve as a counselor in your life and talk with them about your struggle.

[CDLviking]

Perhaps you can compromise with your parents. Try going for an out of state Community College near the University of your choice. That way you can have lower tuition and earn residence in that state before you go to the University, so you can pay in state tuition. It would be less of a risk financially at least. I can understand your father's feelings though. I'm very protective of the women in my life. I hate to think of what it would be like if I ever had a daughter, she would be absolutely smothered.

[Spiritsword]

I don't know that I can offer you any advice, Spirit_Wolf. I've never been in your situation.

But I will pray for you, that the Lord gives you wisdom and guidance in the matter when you take it to Him, and that whatever His plan and His will are in your life, they are done and He provides whatever is necessary to ensure that they are done.

[Rogie]

I think I can see where you're coming from, Spirit_Wolf. I love my family dearly, but I can't wait to go to graduate school, just to see what life is like away from my loved ones. I know that it will be difficult, but the Lord will be going with me, and I find comfort and excitement in that. My family also does not want me to go away, but I am trying my best to explain the situation to them.

Since your profile there says that you're 16, then you have about two years to pray about the situation, ask others for advice, and just try and talk to your family about it over and over. If God wants you to go to school away from your family, then He will provide a way for you to go and for your family to understand it, as long as you just have faith in Him.

Hope this helps, and I'll pray for you.

[blueraven]

I'll be praying for you. I remember you saying a few things on college after Chapel one day. You probally already know this since you've been at CCS well, I'm not exactly sure but you have been there for a long time. I found talking to Mr. Wood a huge comfort when I made up my mind to drop out - understandable and able to give me information on how to continue my education on a slower pace. That is, advise in your case maybe on how to approch your parents with what you want to do. I can't really give you advise though. I've always lived far away from my family, for the few years off and on I lived in New York (where all my family lives) I was still far away. I remember wishing I could live around family when I was in Texas, we only made it up to New York during the summer for a month. And even then I lost loved ones. This has nothing to do with this, sorry. But what I mean to say, I do envy you for being able to live by your family and see them. But I do understand why you want to get away from it all. What I do remember hearing you say about your family it seems to be like my own - very nerve racting. But all the same- I will be praying for you.

Also, about the East Coast - its not so bad. Well, the Gulf Coast isn't at least

[Rev. Doc]

I had to double check and make sure you were'nt living in my house...

As a dad of a 15 year old, who's great ambition is to move as far away as possible to the college of her choice, let me ask you to have a bit of patience with your parents. I know that what you are going through right now is not easy, but a key word for your life should be flexability. At the age of 16 so many things have the potential of changing in the days, months and years ahead. it is true that you can make some initial plans for your future, but I can tell you from experience, those plans will change multiple times. To fight within your family about things that may not transpire causes more stress, grief, and heartache for today than it's worth.

While dads can be maddening at times, for the most part they have your best interests at heart. It's hard to convince my daughter how much I love and care for her while playing a balancing act with how much responsibility to give her. We find ourselves constantly second guessing ourselves and in the midst of that second guessing can come across as anything from uncaring to overbearing. Parenting is a responsibility that you will not fully understand nor comprehend it's complexity until you yourself are placed in that role. That is why so many who promise that they will never parent like their moms and dads, doing exactly that.

Let me advise you to just take things one step at a time. Don't let your decisions be swayed by emotions of anger or bitterness. It will only take you down a road which is hard to return. Make your choices of a life's profession and university under God's direction and the aid of a good guidence counselor. When the time comes include your parents advice in your decisions. Remember, 18 is adulthood. At 18 you are not running away from home. You will no longer be a child but a young adult who must make decisions on her own. It's a liberating yet frightening time in life. You and you alone will be reponsible for the choices you make in life. But if you have burnt bridges of relationships before you get to this period in your life you will find yourself without the emotional, physical, and most importantly spiritual support that you are going to need.

I could probably say more, but I would just come across sounding like a dad. My prayers are with you as you continue to seek God's will and direction for your life.

[JediSonic]

I'll pray for you

I think what your family needs is a vacation.. thats what I think

In my family it has never been a problem... we always go visit relatives who live almost 1000 miles away every year. But wait! Don't get too jealous! Thats 1000 miles.. in a car

[Spirit_Wolf8356]

Thanks you guys so much for your advice. It's really been helping me to calm down over the whole matter. And thank you for your prayers too. I'm not sure how long it's actually gonna take for this whole situation to turn out, but I'll let everyone know how it goes.

Geez, that long in a car and I'd get carsick!

[Kawaii_Angel]

I don't thibk I've got any advice to give you cause I can't imagine being in the sitiuation but I'll pray for you!